Growth

When I started this blog, I had planned to stick to topics of leadership in the workplace.  Well, like all thoughts, this one has grown and changed.   I've kind of branched out from pure leadership in the workplace to Anne Marie's philosophies on life.  Yesterday, as I was walking, I thought about changing the blog description and/or title, and then I decided not to.  My logic is that being a good leader, and leading happy people is about continuing to grow yourself.  So my philosophical meanderings will reflect my growth, and I hope they inspire others to grow as well.

I read something yesterday that is continuing to bother me.  It was a story recounting a person showing up to work dressed inappropriately, and the person's boss demanding they leave and come back dressed differently, or just leave.  The person responded in a very hostile manner.  The story was told to support the idea that some people think they are "entitled" to do whatever they want to, and that parents are responsible for this.

Hmmmm..........

Here's why it bothers me.

1. If you have a dress code, it should be communicated when you hire people, not when they don't conform to it.
2. If you make your expectations clear at hiring, people can choose whether or not the job you are offering suits them, including the dress code
3. It is never a good practice to address a failure to meet expectations with an ultimatum

This reminded me of another semi-viral happening, where someone lost a job prior to their first day due to an inappropriate tweet, and that led to a twitter firing.

Yikes!

It seems like we are forgetting how to get along in the world.  A couple of rules for work and life that never go out of style

Treat others as you would like to be treated.

No one I know likes to be publicly ridiculed.  That includes social media.  Treat everyone as if they are having the worst day of their life and need your kindness.  Sometimes your kindness may be the only kindness someone receives that day.

It is better not to perceive an insult than to seek to avenge it.

Try to believe that the other person was not acting maliciously, believe they just made a mistake, or misspoke.  Offer your letting it go to the universe to increase the good karma.

Before I speak, let me ask three things.  Is it true?  Is it kind?  Is it necessary?

It is easy to let words fly from our mouths that cause harm.  Try to be thoughtful about your words.  They have power.  You can't unsay them.  When put into print, they gain even more power.  Try very hard to do no harm.

You can never love too much, or be too kind.

Love doesn't equal permission, and kindness doesn't equal no boundaries.  It is loving to take stand to stop someone from hurting themselves or others, it is kind to inform someone that their behavior is creating problems for them.  Love and kindness are the way you deliver uncomfortable messages, not that you allow inappropriate words or actions.

Make your expectations and boundaries clear before you have to.  

With your friends, with your family, and with your co-workers.  Transient interlopers in your life like the person in line at the grocery store?  Let it go - ask whatever higher power you believe in to help them learn how to get along better in the world.

Forgive abundantly and often.  

Failure to forgive is a cancer that will eat you up.  It may be that you need to remove people from your life, but forgive them as they go.

Know where you fit.

Life is easier when you take a good long look at yourself, and figure out what makes you happy and what makes you sad, or makes you angry, or makes you uncomfortable.  If you spend your time with people that "fit", life is easier.  You will always have to spend time in places you don't "fit", so when you can make the choice, choose to be with people who feed your personal energy, not those who deplete it.