Backwash your Filters

Inspiration comes from the strangest places.  I am in the process of having a pool installed.  One of the things that you have to do when you have a pool is occasionally backwash or backflush the filter, when the operating pressure starts to get too high.

Eureka!

A new stress management strategy.  Backwash your filters.

We all have filters (at least I hope we all do).  We filter our words and actions so that they are appropriate for the situations and circumstances we are in.  When we are tired, or over-stressed, sometimes our filters get compromised, and we say or do things that we later regret.  I never gave much thought to how to keep my filters in good operating condition, or how to make sure that my filters didn't get too clogged with debris to be effective anymore.

What kind of debris clogs our filters?  That mean thing you didn't say, the inappropriate comment you didn't make.  The rebuke you wanted to give the person in the grocery store who was rude to the cashier, but instead you were extra nice to the cashier to do cosmic makeup.  It is the listening to the same story from an elder person, making the same remarks to show your interest so that they never feel dismissed or less than.

It is the debris that comes from hearing "mean speak" on the radio or television, or reading it on social media.  It is the debris of hurtful or thoughtless comments that have been made to you, that you chose to let go rather than escalate.

It is the debris of despair that accumulates from reading about natural disasters, and accidents.  It is the debris of lost opportunity, dashed hopes and disappointments.  All these things produce debris that clog our filters and build pressure in our system.

You can tell when your filters are clogged.  You have less patience, you have more anger.  You may find yourself saying and doing things that are hurtful to others.  Your sense of humor gets clogged right along with your filters.

So, what do you do?  How do you backwash your filters?  In a pool, you flow large volumes of water in the opposite direction - to wash away the debris.

How can you induce large volumes of goodwill and happiness into your system to backwash your filters?

For me, exercise helps me backwash.  Laughing.  Spending time with friends - which usually involves both exercise and laughing.  Playing with children.  Creating something - cooking a meal, crocheting, writing.
Reading a good book, seeing a play, volunteering, getting outside myself.

Think about what helps you discharge your emotional debris.  Figure out how fast your filters are getting loaded, so you can schedule a backwash before the operating pressure gets too high.  It is much better to plan the backwash and discharge in a non-hurtful way.  Unfortunately for most of us, if we don't backwash in time, our operating pressure causes a blow-out, and the collateral damage from those blow-outs is very difficult to repair.