One of the invisible, unprovable things I believe in is karma. I truly believe that the good that you do has real value, and that it brings you good, and the bad that you do does real harm and brings you bad.
This morning, as I was washing dishes and folding laundry and putting more laundry in the washer and dryer, I thought about how I'm stuck in a place I really don't like.
Those of you who follow my blog know that I haven't been writing much lately, and that my posts have been steadily tapering off since the Autumn of 2016. I've talked about the problem before. I just don't feel inspired, and have a hard time finding something inspiring to say. And I don't want to use this blog to just complain about the things I don't like.
Because the Super Bowl is coming up on February 4, I was thinking about what we are planning to do for Super Bowl Sunday, and right now it is basically nothing. And then I started thinking about the year the Saints were in the Super Bowl and won. It was so good. So amazing. But right after the Super Bowl I got really sick. The sickest I have been since high school. I had to drop out of a marathon. The next couple of years were kind of a downward spiral. My mom had a stroke and we had to put her in a nursing home. My plantar fasciitis got so bad I limped all the time. I started gaining serious weight. I had been given a great assignment at work, but then they posted my job at a higher grade than I had been compensated at. I felt like the universe was taking a huge dump on me. Did I use up all my good karma trying to get the Saints to win the Super Bowl?
In 2012, I signed up for a lifestyle change program called Weight No More. I helped clean out my mom's house, helped my sister find a place to live, and released the first products of the work project. Life took a decided upswing. I must have refilled my karma balance with the good works I had done. Life stayed on a somewhat upward trajectory until 2015, when I had a stroke. That was more of a bump in the road, though, I recovered well, and kept moving in a mostly positive direction.
2016 was a tough year. My mother-in-law died, and my son-in-law's father died. The United States appeared to be heading in a very bad direction, and the Chicago Cubs made it to the World Series. I wanted the Cubs to win as much as I wanted the Saints to win. And they did. And since then, it feels like nothing has gone well.
I expected to finish my novel last spring. Still working on it. Our pool ruptured, it is repaired, but the scar reminds us. I fell and broke my wrist. I picked up some weight, so I am heavier than I want to be, and I can't seem to find the will to do anything about it other than be miserable. The situation in the United States continues to deteriorate, with school shootings becoming commonplace, with 11 school shootings in the first 23 days of 2018. The acrimony and hatefulness in our national dialogue knows no boundaries. We seem to have become a nation of blame, and anger and division. I don't see anyone in a leadership position trying to bring us back together and move us forward in a positive direction. I'm afraid I used up all my good karma getting the Cubs a World Series Championship.
The problem is that I don't know how to rebuild my karma reserves. I do nice things for people. I try to be kind, and understanding and generous, but I'm not getting anywhere. This blog should be a way I try to lift people up, and I'm trying to get back to that. I have to finish my novel, and maybe that will start making deposits in my karma bank.
So what do you think? Can our good karma run out? How do you build up your karma balance? I'm determined to get out of the bad place I am in, and if I figure out a magic formula, I'll be sure to let you know. Until then, I'll be busy trying to rebuild my karma balance. I need for good things to happen.
Wednesday, January 31, 2018
Monday, January 22, 2018
Hamburgers and Life
I started this post back in September or October - and ran into a wall trying to finish it. I'll change the font color of the original words before I post the final version.
I was listening to the radio this morning, and the morning show host and the morning news guy were talking about one of the festivals in New Orleans this weekend, The New Orleans Burger Fest.
The show host asked the news guy how he liked his burgers. The news guy replied he liked it simple, cheese, lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise. The host replied that he hated cheese on a burger, and was a fan of pickles, onions and mustard on his burgers. The news guy was like no cheese? And the host was like NO! And then the host said "And isn't that just what makes the world?".
What it got me to wondering is why we can't be live and let live about more than just what you like to put on your hamburger.
Really, isn't that just what makes the world? That we are all different and that we all like and don't like different things? Why isn't that something we celebrate instead of fight about?
So much of the acrimony in the world and in the media and on social media is focused around our differences. Differences are good. They are interesting.
I hear so many people deciding that they know something about someone because of what they like. So what if a person likes tattoos and has a bunch of them. Or a bunch of piercings. Or really long hair. Or really short hair. Or blue or orange or purple or green hair.
Some people like rock music, and some like gospel, and some like country, and some like oldies, and some like opera and some like classical, and it goes on and on. Why should it matter what kind of music someone likes to listen to or perform?
And once you get past the superficial, if you think about it, there are many differences that are substantive that just don't matter either.
Don't we all bleed when cut? Don't we all grieve when a loved one dies? Don't we all hurt when betrayed or disregarded by those we care about?
What does it matter in the larger scheme of things if someone is Democrat or Republican or Independent? If they are Christian or Jewish or Muslim or Atheist? If they believe in big government or small government? In states rights or a powerful federal control?
It seems that so many people I hear and see have forgotten that we have more in common than we have things that separate us. Everyone is free to work towards creating a home where things are as they like them to be. Everyone is free to believe whatever they want to believe. Why is it so hard to allow that freedom?
I have many friends that I disagree with on a number of subjects. Some of them are the kind of friends that I can explore those differences with, and get a better understanding of how they have arrived at their beliefs. Some of them are the kind of friends that I just find other things to talk about.
The divisiveness and acrimony are only going to get worse until more of us try to make it better.
I think a good place to start is with the old adage, if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything.
I might not agree with some things I hear and see, but if someone is respectful and kind in their appreciation of something I don't appreciate, there is no need for me to comment.
There are very few people in anyone's life that can be influenced to change their position on an issue or a person. Sometimes, I understand that we all have to try. But I think presenting an opposing position in a positive way will always yield a better result than telling someone they are wrong.
I'm trying harder to just say what I think and feel in a positive way, rather than being negative about what I think is wrong. I'm quiet a lot.
I truly want a world where more people can agree to disagree, where more people can recognize we are all more than our political or religious beliefs, where we value each other just because we are humans cohabiting on this planet.
Each time we chose to find common ground instead of formulating our argument, is a step towards a more civil and productive discourse.
I want to get there.
I was listening to the radio this morning, and the morning show host and the morning news guy were talking about one of the festivals in New Orleans this weekend, The New Orleans Burger Fest.
The show host asked the news guy how he liked his burgers. The news guy replied he liked it simple, cheese, lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise. The host replied that he hated cheese on a burger, and was a fan of pickles, onions and mustard on his burgers. The news guy was like no cheese? And the host was like NO! And then the host said "And isn't that just what makes the world?".
What it got me to wondering is why we can't be live and let live about more than just what you like to put on your hamburger.
Really, isn't that just what makes the world? That we are all different and that we all like and don't like different things? Why isn't that something we celebrate instead of fight about?
So much of the acrimony in the world and in the media and on social media is focused around our differences. Differences are good. They are interesting.
I hear so many people deciding that they know something about someone because of what they like. So what if a person likes tattoos and has a bunch of them. Or a bunch of piercings. Or really long hair. Or really short hair. Or blue or orange or purple or green hair.
Some people like rock music, and some like gospel, and some like country, and some like oldies, and some like opera and some like classical, and it goes on and on. Why should it matter what kind of music someone likes to listen to or perform?
And once you get past the superficial, if you think about it, there are many differences that are substantive that just don't matter either.
Don't we all bleed when cut? Don't we all grieve when a loved one dies? Don't we all hurt when betrayed or disregarded by those we care about?
What does it matter in the larger scheme of things if someone is Democrat or Republican or Independent? If they are Christian or Jewish or Muslim or Atheist? If they believe in big government or small government? In states rights or a powerful federal control?
It seems that so many people I hear and see have forgotten that we have more in common than we have things that separate us. Everyone is free to work towards creating a home where things are as they like them to be. Everyone is free to believe whatever they want to believe. Why is it so hard to allow that freedom?
I have many friends that I disagree with on a number of subjects. Some of them are the kind of friends that I can explore those differences with, and get a better understanding of how they have arrived at their beliefs. Some of them are the kind of friends that I just find other things to talk about.
The divisiveness and acrimony are only going to get worse until more of us try to make it better.
I think a good place to start is with the old adage, if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything.
I might not agree with some things I hear and see, but if someone is respectful and kind in their appreciation of something I don't appreciate, there is no need for me to comment.
There are very few people in anyone's life that can be influenced to change their position on an issue or a person. Sometimes, I understand that we all have to try. But I think presenting an opposing position in a positive way will always yield a better result than telling someone they are wrong.
I'm trying harder to just say what I think and feel in a positive way, rather than being negative about what I think is wrong. I'm quiet a lot.
I truly want a world where more people can agree to disagree, where more people can recognize we are all more than our political or religious beliefs, where we value each other just because we are humans cohabiting on this planet.
Each time we chose to find common ground instead of formulating our argument, is a step towards a more civil and productive discourse.
I want to get there.
Friday, January 19, 2018
Another lost week
What a weird disrupted week it has been.
It started out well on Sunday. My husband and I were in Pensacola Beach, Florida. We had done a 10 kilometer road race on Saturday, and had both won the Master's (40 and over) division. We had a wonderful lazy Saturday after that, and had a leisurely wake up on Sunday morning.
We went for a three mile walk, and then went to a champagne brunch, went back to the hotel to make use of the hot tub, and then settled in for an afternoon of football. Even though the Saints lost on the last play of the game in epic fashion, it was still a good day. But then.........
The ride home from Pensacola was uneventful, and I unpacked and we went for a walk to get the kinks out from the long (220 mile) ride home. It was when I went to pick up the dogs from daycare that things started to go downhill.
Scarlett had a squinty eye. I thought maybe she had gotten some soap in it when she had her bath, so I wasn't too concerned initially. After we got home, the situation deteriorated rapidly. Her eye was obviously bothering her, and then she started listing to one side, walking leaning on the wall and then she slid to the floor. I called the vet, and their answering machine referred me to the emergency clinic.
May I just say right now that Scarlett is fine. She had an ulcer on her eye, and was in considerable pain. She is healing beautifully. I didn't want you to worry while I told the rest of the story.
Emergency veterinary clinics are a wonderful thing for those of us that love our pets. I was terrified that Scarlett was having some sort of neurological event, and that she was on the verge of dying. (I go from zero to terminal in 60 seconds whenever any being I love has a health emergency. My bad. Tried to fix myself, failed.) Emergency veterinary clinics are also like human emergency rooms. Slow, scary, sad, and incredibly expensive. After four hours, I was headed home with medication, a diagnosis, lots of negative test results, and a much smaller bank account. Totally worth it.
I arrived home to increasing hysteria in the local media about an upcoming deep freeze. Temperatures lower and for a longer duration than we have experienced locally since 1989. And some sort of freezing precipitation. We never had a situation like this since we put in the pool, so my husband was worried about what would happen, pipes freezing, etc.
Tuesday was spent planning, stocking up and winterizing. My husband set up a heater under a tarp with the above ground pool piping, and set the pumps in circulation. I made a pot of chicken soup so that we would have good warm food. I also talked to my regular vet. They were going to call me anyway, as the emergency clinic had notified them that Scarlett had been in for an emergency visit. I wish human doctors could manage the quality and coordination of care that seem to come naturally to veterinarians. I made an appointment for Scarlett to see her regular vet on Wednesday morning. The freezing rain started Tuesday night, and there was a combination of freezing rain, sleet and snow throughout Tuesday night.
Wednesday morning most of the back patio and front driveway were sheets of ice. There was no way I was venturing out on that ice, with a newly healed broken arm, I didn't want to court another broken bone. Listening to the radio, local officials were asking everyone who could stay off the roads to stay off the roads. The interstates (I-10, I-55, I-12, and I-49) were all closed. My husbands freeze protection for the pool worked perfectly. I called and re-scheduled Scarlett for a Thursday appointment, and my husband and I watched Turner Classic Movies all day.
Thursday brought the news that the water pressure in Jefferson Parish was critically low, and that we all needed to conserve water. No dish washing, clothes washing, bathe and flush toilets only when absolutely necessary. Two hours later, boil water advisory. The vet called to reschedule as they had no water at the clinic. I boiled water, and decided to walk on the treadmill because there was still too much ice outside. Got off the treadmill, the vet called, did I want to bring Scarlett in, they got water back. Carefully walked around the ice patches to take Scarlett for a check of her eye, the ulcer is healing beautifully, and she can come out of the cone of shame on Sunday. Eye drops and more money.
And now it is Friday and 55 degrees Fahrenheit. We are still under a boil water advisory, but we can flush toilets and bathe. Thank God for that. They said you could wash dishes in your dishwasher if it has a sanitize setting, and mine does (YEAH!), so I washed the accumulated dishes in the dishwasher. The laundry will keep until tomorrow, as I know other people need to tax the system more than I do.
I did finally finish and ship the mermaid tails that I was working on, so I can start another crochet project and I'm ready to get back on my novel.
I realized how much I depend on the water in my faucets. And roads to drive on when I need to. And the relative health of my pets.
I hope this week doesn't set a tone for 2018. I am more convinced than ever that I love my boring life. I hope I can get back to it next week.
It started out well on Sunday. My husband and I were in Pensacola Beach, Florida. We had done a 10 kilometer road race on Saturday, and had both won the Master's (40 and over) division. We had a wonderful lazy Saturday after that, and had a leisurely wake up on Sunday morning.
We went for a three mile walk, and then went to a champagne brunch, went back to the hotel to make use of the hot tub, and then settled in for an afternoon of football. Even though the Saints lost on the last play of the game in epic fashion, it was still a good day. But then.........
The ride home from Pensacola was uneventful, and I unpacked and we went for a walk to get the kinks out from the long (220 mile) ride home. It was when I went to pick up the dogs from daycare that things started to go downhill.
Scarlett had a squinty eye. I thought maybe she had gotten some soap in it when she had her bath, so I wasn't too concerned initially. After we got home, the situation deteriorated rapidly. Her eye was obviously bothering her, and then she started listing to one side, walking leaning on the wall and then she slid to the floor. I called the vet, and their answering machine referred me to the emergency clinic.
May I just say right now that Scarlett is fine. She had an ulcer on her eye, and was in considerable pain. She is healing beautifully. I didn't want you to worry while I told the rest of the story.
Emergency veterinary clinics are a wonderful thing for those of us that love our pets. I was terrified that Scarlett was having some sort of neurological event, and that she was on the verge of dying. (I go from zero to terminal in 60 seconds whenever any being I love has a health emergency. My bad. Tried to fix myself, failed.) Emergency veterinary clinics are also like human emergency rooms. Slow, scary, sad, and incredibly expensive. After four hours, I was headed home with medication, a diagnosis, lots of negative test results, and a much smaller bank account. Totally worth it.
I arrived home to increasing hysteria in the local media about an upcoming deep freeze. Temperatures lower and for a longer duration than we have experienced locally since 1989. And some sort of freezing precipitation. We never had a situation like this since we put in the pool, so my husband was worried about what would happen, pipes freezing, etc.
Tuesday was spent planning, stocking up and winterizing. My husband set up a heater under a tarp with the above ground pool piping, and set the pumps in circulation. I made a pot of chicken soup so that we would have good warm food. I also talked to my regular vet. They were going to call me anyway, as the emergency clinic had notified them that Scarlett had been in for an emergency visit. I wish human doctors could manage the quality and coordination of care that seem to come naturally to veterinarians. I made an appointment for Scarlett to see her regular vet on Wednesday morning. The freezing rain started Tuesday night, and there was a combination of freezing rain, sleet and snow throughout Tuesday night.
Wednesday morning most of the back patio and front driveway were sheets of ice. There was no way I was venturing out on that ice, with a newly healed broken arm, I didn't want to court another broken bone. Listening to the radio, local officials were asking everyone who could stay off the roads to stay off the roads. The interstates (I-10, I-55, I-12, and I-49) were all closed. My husbands freeze protection for the pool worked perfectly. I called and re-scheduled Scarlett for a Thursday appointment, and my husband and I watched Turner Classic Movies all day.
Thursday brought the news that the water pressure in Jefferson Parish was critically low, and that we all needed to conserve water. No dish washing, clothes washing, bathe and flush toilets only when absolutely necessary. Two hours later, boil water advisory. The vet called to reschedule as they had no water at the clinic. I boiled water, and decided to walk on the treadmill because there was still too much ice outside. Got off the treadmill, the vet called, did I want to bring Scarlett in, they got water back. Carefully walked around the ice patches to take Scarlett for a check of her eye, the ulcer is healing beautifully, and she can come out of the cone of shame on Sunday. Eye drops and more money.
And now it is Friday and 55 degrees Fahrenheit. We are still under a boil water advisory, but we can flush toilets and bathe. Thank God for that. They said you could wash dishes in your dishwasher if it has a sanitize setting, and mine does (YEAH!), so I washed the accumulated dishes in the dishwasher. The laundry will keep until tomorrow, as I know other people need to tax the system more than I do.
I did finally finish and ship the mermaid tails that I was working on, so I can start another crochet project and I'm ready to get back on my novel.
I realized how much I depend on the water in my faucets. And roads to drive on when I need to. And the relative health of my pets.
I hope this week doesn't set a tone for 2018. I am more convinced than ever that I love my boring life. I hope I can get back to it next week.
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