Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Finding my voice again

I haven't written much in this blog lately, because, frankly, the US Presidential election caused me to lose my voice for a while.

I listen to people say that anyone having trouble accepting the outcome of this election is a sore loser.  That is not it at all.

My problem is that I am a thinker.  I see the world as a complex interconnected place where actions have consequences.  Immediate and deferred consequences, visible and invisible consequences.

The consequences of electing Donald Trump President of the United States are not yet fully known.

I tried my best to find a glimmer of hope or optimism for the past three weeks.  I'm not finding any, and I'm no longer trying to find any.

Now it is time to use my voice to speak for inclusion, and decency, and compassion.

The United States of America is a mess right now.  The underbelly of anger, prejudice and hate that had been thinly covered is on display for all to see.  Hate crimes and harassment are increasing.  Swastikas are being spray painted in public parks, on churches, and on homes.

So what do we do?

Each and every one of us has an obligation to create the world we want to live in.  We have to start with our families, then expand that world to include our friends, and then all of our acquaintances.

I try very hard to keep conflict provoking posts off of Facebook, but I realize I have to modify my position.  I don't need to post provocative things, but I need to have the courage to speak out against post that feed the anger, prejudice and hate.

Part of why bad things happen is because good people are silent.  And passive.

And that is so hard.  Because I was raised that good children are quiet and obedient.

Obedience is not called for when people's rights can be violated.

I have to find the words to be encouraging.  I have to find the words to illustrate a path of inclusion and hope and kindness.

I have to figure out concrete actions people can take that do not place them in undue peril, but increase the goodness on display in the world.

Many people think this was just another election, and that the United States of America has survived other, worser things.

But I don't think so.

I think the United States of America will survive, but it will be a long time before we are what we used to be.  I predict massive redistribution of wealth, desecration of our public school system, loss of civil liberties, and loss of social safety programs.

I am unbearably sad for the people that will be directly hurt by the changes that seem inevitable at this point in time.

My charity will be more necessary than ever before.

My next couple of posts will probably be parables.  The best way for me to work to a place of light is through analogy, and parables will allow me to do that.

In the meantime, be as good and kind as you can to everyone you meet.  Kindness is not given because it is deserved, kindness is given because you are kind.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Bystander Effect

During my career as a Safety Professional, it was not uncommon during accident investigation to learn that the action that let to the accident had happened many times before.  It was also not uncommon for peers to have witnessed the unsafe action, and made no attempt to intervene and stop the chain of cause and effect before the accident happened.

So, one of the many things I focused on in accident prevention was in getting people more comfortable to make an intervention, to stop someone when they were doing something that they could get hurt doing.

I'm sure many of you are thinking that this should have been pretty easy.  We all like to think that we would stop someone from doing something that they could hurt themselves doing.  But intervention is hard.

One of the tasks I was assigned to was to create a learning event to help people understand the barriers to intervention, and the psychological predisposition to looking the other way.

It was in the creation of that learning event that I first learned about bystander effect.  The term bystander effect was first popularized after the 1964 murder of Kitty Genovese.  Genovese was stabbed to death outside her New York apartment.  There were many witnesses to the murder, but no one helped or called police.

In the years since 1964, the popularized version of the murder of Kitty Genovese has been called into question.  There are accounts that the police were called, but arrived too late.  But the lessons from the psychological studies that followed this case still have merit.

There are many underlying causes for bystander effect.  One of the most profound is the belief that other people see the problem, and one of them is more qualified to intervene.  Another cause is fear, fear for your own safety or comfort.

I've been thinking a lot about bystander effect lately.  In a country that seems torn by political discord, violence and a declining social norm for solving problems peacefully, it seems impossible that all of us will not have to make a choice at some point between intervening in a frightening public situation, or looking the other way.

I don't want anyone who is reading this to feel criticized if you know you just can not intervene.  There are huge psychological barriers to intervention.

But I would ask everyone reading this to think about what you can, and what you should do.  Can you film the event using your smart phone?  Can you call 911?   Can you just make a lot of noise and attract a crowd?  What can and what will you do?

Challenge yourself on many levels.  One of the exercises in the learning event gave groups scenarios, and asked what they would do.  It was fairly universal that someone seeing a toddler about to run into a road would grab the toddler.   Seeing a woman with small children broken down on the side of the road?  More people would stop and help, then would stop and help if it was a man broken down on the side of the road.  But most would call 911.

I know none of us want to imagine ourselves in an active shooter situation.  Or watching someone get beat up.  Or watching someone be verbally abused.  But I think it is good to imagine yourself in those situations, and make a plan for what you will do.

We most often regret what we didn't do more than what we did do.  I would hate to think that my inaction cost someone their life, but I would also hate to think my inaction cost someone their dignity.

We all have the power of our voice and our presence to be a force for good.  It is hard to be the good we can be when we are shocked into silence.  Because of that, we have to anticipate what could go wrong that could need our voice, and prepare to be that voice.

Psychologists recommend that when seeing someone being verbally abused that you do not confront the abuser, but rather approach the victim with small talk.   Lovely weather, nice dress, love your hair, whatever; and place yourself as close to the victim without invading their space.  Keep up a steady flow of inoffensive chatter, distract them from the verbal abuse, and stay with them until the abuser is gone.

Physical abuse is harder to figure out what to do.  By all means, call for help.  Then you will have to make a call based on the personal risk of the specific situation.  Often you will have limited options. Just do the best you can.

If in an active shooter situation, run if you can, hide if that is the only possibility.  If you are hiding with a group, try to help each other to barricade yourselves from the shooter.

With this past weekend seeing mass shootings in New Orleans and Kansas City, and with yesterday's attack on Ohio State's campus; it seems that the violence in society is escalating.  Checking in with the gun violence archive, they report nine mass shootings since Thanksgiving.

Be smart about where you go.  Have a plan for what you will do if violence erupts where you are.  And as much as possible, know what you will do to be one of the helpers.

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Connecting with the Past

Yesterday was a very happy, productive day for me.  I spent most of the day baking.

I have always loved to bake, but during the years that I worked full-time, it fell by the wayside.

After I retired, I often thought about baking, but then wondered who would eat what I baked, and realized it would be me and my husband, and because we don't need the extra calories, I didn't bake.

But American Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and so I baked.

I used the rolling pin my grandmother gave me, and as I made and rolled pie crust, I remembered my grandmother patiently teaching me how to make pie dough, and how to roll the dough so the it had an even thickness.

I thought about for all that my dad was an amazing cook and baker, he never could master pie crust, and remembered him watching me make pie crust with a sort of wonder that I always got it to turn out well.

I made cinnamon sticks with the leftover pie dough, which is what we did in my family.  I wondered if other people used the pie dough scraps this way, so I posted a picture on Facebook, and got numerous responses and deepened my connections with my friends and family.

I made pumpkin tarts from a recipe on Pinterest, and when all the tart shells were full, I had leftover filling.  So, I added the rest of the pumpkin, and flour and baking powder, and baking soda and salt, and made pumpkin drop cookies with buttercream icing.  It felt really good to know that I know how to combine ingredients without a recipe to make baked goods.

I love the science and alchemy of baking.  I use alchemy in the second definition found in Merriam-Webster:

A power or process that changes or transforms something in a mysterious or impressive way.

I've always felt that baking had a magic to it.  I love the way the pastry has flaky layers as the baking process transforms that solid dough into layers.  I love the way baking powder causes the cookie or cake batter to rise and have lightness.  I love the way the butter and powdered sugar combine with a little milk and vanilla into perfectly creamy icing.  I love the way the cinnamon sugar is changed by melting into the dough and then cooling.

I posted pictures of everything I baked on Facebook, and got many positive responses, provoking even more happy memories.  My godfather, my Uncle Bill, was a great baker, and my sister, my daughter and my niece all were reminded of Uncle Bill as I went on my baking spree.

One of the things I had forgotten about baking is how much it connects me with my past.  My Grandmother, Uncle Bill and my Dad were all in the kitchen with me yesterday afternoon as I went about my baking.

And because for me, scent or smell is a powerful evocator of memory, the fragrances in the kitchen brought back many happy memories of days and years gone by.  I remembered baking with my grandmother as a small child, with my mom and dad in later years, and then with my daughter when she was small.

The physical action of rolling pie dough, although something I haven't done for years, was as familiar as if I had done it yesterday.  At the end of the day, I was filled with a true sense of contentment, proud of the day's accomplishments, and happy with the products of my work.

As I sat on the couch and crocheted, I thought about my Aunt Nini, and how much she loved to crochet.  I am so very grateful that I was taught so many of the domestic arts as a child, because they connect me so tangibly to the people who taught them to me.

I realized as I was working yesterday, that no matter what is happening in the world, no matter what distress or upheaval exists, I can create an oasis of calm for myself by using the domestic arts to connect with my past.

I am once again in awe of the gifts I have been given in my life.  The family I was born into.  The lessons my family taught me.  The skills my family helped me to develop.

As I think about American Thanksgiving and what I am thankful for, the list is too long to enumerate.  And having a list too long is definitely what I am most thankful for.

Friday, November 18, 2016

Should and is

I've never been a fan of the word should.  First of all, it is not spelled the way it sounds.  But mostly, it is because "should" thinking can get in the way of "is" thinking.

The word "should" has many definitions.  But the one definition that I always hear when the word "should" is used is certainty of correctness.  As in "You should have known better"  or "It shouldn't have happened that way".

Should always strikes my ear as negative.  Should sounds judgemental to me.  As if the speaker knows some universal secret about the correctness of the universe that I missed.

I greatly prefer "is" and "could" thinking.  Not that "could" is spelled any less funny than "should" but because "could" is a word that opens up the door of endless possibilities, I forgive the clumsy spelling.

If you deal in "is" thinking, it means you try as hard as you can to see things as they really are.  You look for data (and mountains of it) that proves beyond a reasonable doubt that things are as they are.   You are as reality based as you can be, given that we each live in our own beautiful alternate reality.

"Is" thinkers are problem solvers by nature.  They observe.  They analyze.  And then they imagine a better outcome.  They think in terms of what "could" be.

The difference between "should" and "could" is enormous.  "Should" indicates that the to be state is known and that the speaker knows one correct to be state.  "Could" offers one of boundless possibilities for other "is" thinkers to analyze, evaluate and debate.

"Should" thinking leaves no room for "could" thinking.

And "could" thinking is what feeds optimism, and hope, and joy. "Should" thinking shrinks the window through which we see the world.  "Could" thinking makes the window broader than the horizon.

Every time you look back at a moment in your life and think it should have been different, it creates dissonance.  You are unfavorably comparing the "is" state to the imagined state.

Instead, of you look at a moment in your life and think it could have been different, it creates the possibility to analyze why it wasn't different, and to identify if there are future actions you could take to create outcomes that leave you happier.

I have often shared that I am a pragmatist.  I know that I am an optimistic pragmatist, in that I am very comfortable in accepting the limitations of my current "is" state, and analyzing what I can and cannot influence in my current "is" state.

"Could" thinking allows me to envision the end state I believe is best for me and those I love, and then analyze the data to see if my end state is on the list of possible and probable outcomes.

Many times my "could" end state is highly improbable.  But the time spent in dreaming of it, in analyzing what steps would have to be taken to get there, is time that is spent in the realm of hopeful possibility.

And the more time I spend imagining "could" end states that are happy for me and those I love, the more ways I think of to inch closer to those perfect "could" end states.

Life is hard and full of disappointment.  There are days when the mantle of sorrow makes it hard to lift your head. There are days when it seems too much to bear to just go on.

When you practice analyzing your "is" state, and then imagining a "could" state that is happy and fulfilling, you give yourself the opportunity to evaluate if your "could" state is possible.  And sooner or later, you will imagine an end state that is achievable, and then you can make a plan to work towards it.

Try to put "should" thinking behind you.  Evaluate what is, identify what could be, and then chart your course.

For me, this has made the journey much more hopeful, much more filled with joy, and full of the excitement of possibility.


Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Finding Inspiration

My goal as a retiree from corporate America was to be an inspirational blogger.  I still think it is a good goal, just harder to achieve than I expected.  It can be hard in times of discouragement, disappointment and fear to find inspiration.

A couple of things have happened over the last few days that I am going to draw on for inspiration, and I am going to try to keep my well full so that I can meet my goal to be an inspirational blogger.

On Sunday, I went to Mass.  I'll be honest, I was very nervous about going to Mass.  I was afraid I would hear rhetoric that is the antithesis of what I believe Catholicism should be.

Boy, was I surprised.  I had difficulty holding back tears when Father Pat gave his sermon.  He talked about the power of words, and how we as Christians have an obligation to not just ask ourselves "What Would Jesus Do?"  but also "What Would Jesus Say?"  The gospel reading warned that all who do good will be persecuted, and that we should not make our own defense, but rather ask Jesus to speak through us.  And Father Pat emphasized that we should be very careful that our words are not coming from a place of anger or defeat, but rather our words should be words that build up and protect.

Now, I know many of my readers aren't Catholic, and don't practice a faith tradition.  What I heard in non-Catholic terms was "Be the Good.  Protect others. Use words carefully to build up and protect.  Speak out against injustice, but do so in a way that attracts people to listen and hear, rather than provokes them to close their ears and hearts and mount a counter argument."  

This morning, I had the opportunity to spend a little over an hour on the phone with a very dear friend in China.  She is a Chinese national, and has lived in China for most of her life.  She did live in the US, in Texas for two years as part of a career development exchange program.  We use the meeting host service WebEx to share pictures and information, as many forums for information sharing are not available in China.  She shared that there are rumors that China may open up Facebook soon.  I can send her Gmail to her work account, but her private account does not accept Gmail.  She can't use Google or Facebook.  Today, we tried Pinterest, and it looks like that may be a site allowed by the Chinese government.  If so, I will set up a board on my Pinterest to share things with her.

What is the point?  The point is, that in spite of living in China, where human rights oppression is very real, my friend is a very good person who works tirelessly to improve the lives of others.  She works in Industrial Hygiene and in Safety, protecting people from harm in the workplace.  She does this in a place where there is not a regulatory framework to support her efforts.  She does this in a place where many of the workers she is trying to protect don't understand the protections she tries to put in place.

But she keeps trying.  She keeps making it better.  She keeps approaching each day with a sincere love for her fellow human beings, and an optimism that is undaunted.  If she can work in the situation she works in for the good every day with a smile, and love, and an unbending will, so can I.

The final thing that happened was that I read an account from a woman who had played Miep Gies, the woman who hid Anne Frank and other Jews from the Nazis, in a school play.  The woman had written Miep Gies, to tell her how she admired her courage in risking her own safety to save others.  She shared the letter she got from Miep Gies in response.  The letter was incredibly moving in its honestly.

Miep Gies said that she was not courageous, simply a secretary and housewife, who knew that inaction would haunt her the rest of her life, so she had to at least try.

And there you go.  I have to at least try.  I sent letters to Speaker Ryan, my senators and my congressional representative yesterday, and they will get more letters today.  I will write every day to inform them of my position on issues.

I will not be silent in the face of injustice.  I will not give up.  I will fight against all discrimination and any effort to take away necessary protections from the people of the United States.  

I accept it may happen anyway.  But I will be like my friend in China, and never give up trying to make it better, no matter how my government behaves.

Friday, November 11, 2016

It never was anyway

For the past eight years, I have listened to people on the right complain "I want my America back".  This morning, for the first time, I read a comment from the left stating "This is not my America anymore".

What I'm about to say may offend some people.  It may make some people really angry.

But I'm going to say it anyway.

It never was "your America".

It was always "our America".

And therein lies the problem.

Anything that is "ours" ; anything that belongs to the many, is going to be problematic.

It will be rent with strife and disagreement.

It will always be populated by those who feel it is working for them, and for those who feel abandoned by it.

I am by no means saying that it is illegitimate that many people are frightened by the very real, frightening, and negative consequences that the results of this election could have on their lives.

Fear is a very legitimate emotion for many right now.

What I am saying, however; is that just as all emotion is real, all fear is real.

And even when one person believes another person's emotion or fear is not legitimate, they are always wrong.

Because all emotion, and all fear is legitimate.  I don't have to understand where your fear comes from to understand you are afraid.

So the people that say they were afraid of what would happen if a different candidate won are just as legitimate in their fear as those who are now afraid.

And working from a place of fear is never good for anyone.  Because fear overrides logic, and fear overrides the ability to mount a logical argument.

So those of us who are not afraid at a visceral level about the personal impact this result could have must remain calm in the face of reality, and mount the campaign to protect those who need our protection.

And we have to calm the rhetoric as much as we can.  Because fear is paralyzing, so stoking the fear is creating more paralysis.

I believe that as long as anyone is worried about "their" America, we will never move forward.

It is our America.  And we all have to accept that sustaining democracy is a lot like making sausage, it is an ugly, messy process.  And just like the product at the end of the sausage making can be a very good product, so can the result of our ugly , messy democracy be a good product.

But we have to stay with it even when it is ugly.

One of the hardest things in the world is to accept that you will never understand someone else's motivation for the things that they do and say.

You may be fortunate to have some very self-aware people in your world that can tell you their motivation, but you can never know a person's motivation unless they tell you.

So deciding anything about the people that voted differently from you is not sound.  Unless you know them, and they are a self-aware person, and they told you their reasons for voting the way they did, you don't know why.

And we can't have the messy conversations we need to have to move this democracy forward unless we approach each other with respect.

I, like many, have struggled for the past eight years with the obstructionism in Congress and the Senate.  I sincerely believe that the lack of civility in Washington has fed a lack of civility in American society.  In order for our democracy to survive, we have to do better.

We have to raise our voices clearly to articulate what we believe in.  If we want a more inclusive, more tolerant, kinder America, we have to model more inclusive, more tolerant and kinder behavior.

We have to listen to, and accept as real the emotions and fears of everyone we talk to.  I know there will be times when I absolutely can't understand where the fear is coming from (like all the people that believed that Obama was going to take their guns away), but I still have to accept that their fear is real to them, and work to understand what can be done so that they no longer have to be afraid.

I don't want this great two hundred and forty year old experiment in representative democracy to go down in flames.  I want America to succeed for all of us, and for the planet. And I truly believe that most Americans feel the same way.

So now comes the hard work of listening to each other, of finding compromise that we can all live with, instead of what we have been seeing for the past eight years, which is both sides digging in and making the distance between us greater.

I know for many, it feels like you are always the one who has to compromise, the one who has to be the adult in the room.  As bizarre as it may sound to you, many who you most vehemently disagree with feel the same way.

So let's stop thinking in terms of "my America".  Let's start talking about a vision of "our America".  An America that is inclusive, and fair, and presents opportunity for everyone.  An America where people don't have to be bankrupted by illness or disability.  An America where a person can get the education they need to get the job they want to buy themselves a good life without a mountain of debt.  An America where we can agree to disagree, and then find a common place where we have all given up some, but none have given up all.  An America that truly believes in the promise of Liberty Island,
"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

We can do it.  We have done it before.  We just have to roll up our sleeves, commit to the process, and never give up.

And for anyone reading this who is afraid, I am with you.  I have your back.  I will do everything I can to protect you. And I will continue to work for the vision of America that I know many of us share.

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Numbers

Numbers fascinate me and comfort me.  I look to numbers when the world doesn't make sense.   I was attracted to accounting as a profession, because of the balance sheet.  You have to make an entry on both sides of the ledger for every transaction.  A very orderly system to make sense of a disorderly world.

I moved away from the safety of numbers to the chaos of humans when I moved from Accounting to Environment, Health and Safety.  But I returned to numbers in my profession to make sense of the things that went wrong, the things that damaged people or the environment.  I believed data could show a better, safer path forward.

When I am scared, or stressed, I turn to numbers.  Data is serene.  Data is emotionless.  Data is constant, in that it always exists.  I do crochet that involves constant counting when I need to quiet my mind.  Numbers are meditative for me.  So, because I have to remain calm and strong in a scary world, I am looking to numbers.

I did a little exercise yesterday.  I looked up the population of the United States.  The last official numbers I could find were from 2014.  The population listed for the United States in 2014 was 318.9 million people.  The number of people that voted for the president-elect was 59.6 people.  That means that 259.3 million people did not vote for him.

I know not all of the 318.9 million people are eligible voters, but they are still people.  So, basically one in five Americans voted for the president-elect.

I know a lot of you are heartsick about what is says about the United States that a man that presented himself as racist, xenophobic, misogynistic, and a bully could get elected President of the United States.  Well, here is where the numbers make sense to me.

We all know one in five people will remain silent in the face of bullying, and hatred, and meanness, if they believe that it doesn't impact them, or that by remaining silent they will get something that they want.

I believe that most of us, if we do honest self-reflection, have a moment in our lives when we were silent when a wrong was committed against another human being.  And that many of us choose to never forget that moment so that we never make that mistake again.

My point?  I believe that many of the people who voted for the president-elect chose to look away from the bullying, and the racism, and the misogyny, and the xenophobia because they felt he was offering them something they need.

We are all guilty of working in our own self interest at times.

Please try as hard as you can to not make this election result a referendum on the basic decency of your neighbors.  Most people are decent.  Many people choose to look past what makes them uncomfortable if they feel like a greater good is served.

I personally think America made a huge mistake.  I think that the platform of the Republican party will be bad for our nation, and for many of our nation's citizens.  That is why I voted for the flawed Democratic candidate.  It was because the Democratic platform more closely aligned with the things I value.

But to call everyone who voted for the president-elect wrong, or racist, or bad doesn't get us anything but more anger, more hate, and less opportunity to fix what is broken.

I know that today I have a much deeper obligation to many of my friends and family to protect them.  I have a deeper obligation to not be silent about injustice.

But if I start from a position of not respecting that everyone does what they do for what they feel are valid reasons, I have no hope of finding common ground, no hope of moving to a place of more love and inclusion instead of a place of hate and fear.

I don't have to agree with you or see your perspective to still see you as an individual deserving of respect.  If your behavior informs me that you don't deserve my respect, I will withhold it.

And if i see hurtful actions towards another, I will intervene.

Remember that four out of five Americans did NOT vote for the president-elect.  There are scores of decent, loving people everywhere you look.  See them.  Unite with them.  We must take care of each other.  It is the only right answer.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

For my dogs, it is just another day

I have a sense of having woken up in a bad dream.  But this is not a bad dream  This is a sad reality.  I pray that the checks and balances created by our Founding Fathers will be enough to prevent the destruction that could result from the 2016 election, but I am frightened that they will not.

I am not angry.  I don't hate the people that voted the way they voted.  They believed they had good reason.  I am trying to go about my life as if everything is normal.  But the small still voice in my heart is saying I need to be afraid.

Fear is the enemy.  Action is the answer.  The saddest thing is that personally, I have nothing to fear.  I am a cisgendered, white, heterosexual married woman with a home.  And health insurance provided by my company as part of my retirement package.

The fear I have is for all the people that I love who are Muslim, or disabled, or non-White, or immigrants, or LGBTQ,  or have serious health conditions.  I don't believe that everyone who voted for a racist, misogynistic, xenophobic charlatan is racist or bigoted.  I believe many of them simply were easy to manipulate.  Or single issue voters.  Or just angry enough to say "no more" to established politicians.

I can't be angry with people for making mistakes, because being human means making mistakes.  But not being angry doesn't mean being quiet.  And none of us can afford to be quiet now.

But my dogs are fine.   Beaux still wants to play fetch, and Scarlett wants to be pet.  The sun came out from behind the clouds.  The world is still turning.

I have been alive for fifteen presidential elections.  I really remember thirteen of those.  I have been disappointed in the election results before.  I have been ambivalent on the election results before.  Only once have I been truly delighted, and that was when Barack Obama was elected in 2008.  Only once have I been truly sickened, and that is now.  I honestly physically feel sick today.

But that doesn't help or change anything.  I have always been a thorn in the side of my senators and representative, and that won't stop now.

I need to find peace.  I need to work on my novel, because I believe that stories of faith, and hope, stories of love and redemption are going to be sorely needed in the near future.

I will probably not pay attention to the news for the next few days.  I'm going to choose to write, and crochet, and listen to music.

The world turns.  This great experiment in democracy is about to be sorely tested.  The wounds that this contentious election formed will not heal easily, and the scars will be deep.

I hope my worst fears are not realized.  I hope that 20 million Americans don't lose their health insurance.  I hope that marriage equality stays the law of the land.  I hope families are not shattered by deportation.  I hope that a woman's right to choose is preserved.  I hope that laws allowing discrimination are not passed.  I hope we don't go backwards.

And I honestly believe that many of the people who voted for the newly elected president don't think those things are going to happen.

Like Anne Frank, I still believe people are basically good at heart.

I'm just afraid that a not good at heart person just became the most powerful person in the free world.  And I've never felt that way before.

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Family

Home again after a long week on the road.  There are lots of thoughts bubbling around in my head, and I will eventually share them all with you.  But the first and most important thoughts I want to share are thoughts on family.

I have shared many times how blessed I know I am to have been born into the family I was born into.  I am the third of the four children of my parents, I have an older brother, an older sister, and a younger sister.  I have twenty first cousins on my father's side, and no first cousins on my mother's side.  I have countless cousins on my father's side reaching into many times removed, as family ties are strong and unrelenting in my family.

Growing up, I thought every family was like mine.  I thought my cousin's cousins were my cousins too.  If someone was called family, I embraced them as family.

I moved away from my family's home geography at twenty-six, and never went back there to live.  My brother moved away from my family's home geography at nineteen and never went back there to live.  I am still extraordinarily close to my brother.  The lack of physical proximity has not diminished the strength of my love for him or the profound connection I have to him.

I am also extraordinarily close to my sisters, although I only talk to my younger sister at a regular frequency.  The amount of time or number of contacts with my sisters doesn't diminish my love for them or my connection with them.

I don't see my cousins very often, but when I do it is always a good time.  I love them all, and their children, and their children's spouses, and their children's children.  We have a spectrum of beliefs and occupations, we are physically diverse, but we love one another more than enough to overlook the differences.

As an adult, I know every family is not like mine.  Some families quarrel, and disown each other.  Some families are never given the opportunity to know their cousins and extended relatives.  Some families don't value and love each other.  And that makes me sad.

So where am I going with this?  Well, in spite of having a wonderful, loving and close knit extended family, I added more people.  Sisters and brothers, cousins, nieces and nephews, children, you name the relationship, and there is someone that I treasure, that I call sister or brother or child that shares no blood with me.

Because I'm greedy in that way.  I can never love too many people, or have too many people love me.

So, whatever the accident of your birth, whether born to a family that holds on tight, or into a family that easily lets go, you can still have a large extended loving family.

If it feels right, reach out to family you have lost and try to reconnect.  Recognize the people in your life that you love like family and make them your family of choice.  Love one another unrelentingly and unselfishly.

Life is just better when it is full of love.  You hold the power to have a love-filled life.  It involves a little risk of rejection, but trust me, the risk is well worth the reward.

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Not a good answer

I read an article this morning about an explosion at a chemical plant in Germany that killed three people and seriously injured seventeen people.  The article said the preliminary investigation showed the cause of the accident to be human error.

That, my dear readers, is not a good answer.

To be perfectly clear, it is probably possible to blame every unintended consequence on human error.  One, we are not a particularly good species, and two, humans orchestrate millions of actions every day.  Even if the only human error was not recognizing the unintended consequence was available, that is still a human error.

As a safety professional, my position on this topic never changed.  If the consequence of error is unacceptable, you must put a safeguard in place so that the human can not make the error.  Safeguards are ranked in order of effectiveness.

The most effective safeguard is elimination.  Elimination is exactly what it sounds like, remove or eliminate the hazard.  One of the types of elimination used is substitution, where you use a less hazardous method or material.

Then there are engineering controls.  There are two types of engineering controls, passive controls and active controls.  Passive controls are controls that are just there, like impact absorbing bumpers on a car.  Active controls have to be deployed, either by human interaction, like putting on a seatbelt, or by a device, like the activator on an airbag.

The least effective hazard controls are administrative controls.  This is where rules, procedures and training are used to reduce the probability of error.  But since we're still talking about humans, very weak.

Finally there is personal protective equipment.  This is where protective clothing, respirators, hard hats, safety shoes, gloves, etc. come into play.  Sometimes, using personal protective equipment in addition to other controls is just the right answer, because personal protective equipment can reduce or remove the probability of life altering injury.

So, all of that is valuable information, no matter what you do for a living or what environment you find yourself in.

Many parents of small children use elimination on a regular basis as hazard control to keep their children safe.  Parents remove sharp objects, and generally control all items allowed in their children's environment.  They also often substitute harmful cleaning solutions with things like vinegar and baking soda.

We're all used to the passive and active engineering controls on our cars.  Most of us have circuit breakers or fuses in the electrical systems in our homes that disrupt the flow of electricity if there is an overcurrent situation.  Many of us have Ground Fault Circuit Interrupters (GFCI) protecting the electrical outlets in our homes.

And most of us also use rules, like "Don't run with scissors", "Look both ways before crossing the street", "Put your seatbelt on" to mitigate hazards that we recognize.

As I said earlier, though, none of us can see or imagine all the hazards that exist.  And when a hazard acts on anyone of us, that gives us all the opportunity to learn to guard against it.

Human error is not a cause of accidents.  It is a universal truth.  Humans will always make mistakes.  Hazards will always exist.  When terrible accidents occur, we should try to learn all that we can about what went wrong, what safeguard or system failed so that we can make the safeguards and systems better so that no future suffering has to occur.

We can take the easy way out and blame accidents on human error.  Or we can try harder to make the world safer for all of us by figuring out ways to protect humans from the inevitable errors that we make.