There was a country song quite a few years ago with a line, "You have to stand for something or you'll fall for anything". I can appreciate taking a stand, it is important to have a belief system, and to hold yourself accountable to it.
What I don't understand, is believing you have the only "right" belief system. I had a blog post titled "There is no Them" a few weeks ago.
Somehow, many humans have come to believe that if you don't share their belief system, you are wrong or bad. Oh my. What a sad place to live.
Where is tolerance? What happened to the idea that even if we disagree, we don't have to be disagreeable? In recent days, I have seen many people proclaim to "know" what God wants. Wow.
I believe in a Higher Power, and I try to live in accordance with what I believe that Higher Power expects of me. My belief system includes meeting that Higher Power on another plane of existence, after physical death of my body. I expect my Higher Power to let me know at that time how well I did living up to expectations.
I accept I may be wrong about what is expected of me as a human. I would never tell another person that they are wrong or evil or unloved or unlovable by a Higher Power just because their belief system differs from mine. I accept that most of us are just trying our best to get by in a difficult world.
I understand that most humans have been programmed to see things as either right or wrong. I agree, I see some right and wrong myself. Harming others is wrong. Loving others is right. That is almost where I draw my line on right and wrong. Beyond "Love one Another" most religious mandates and statements are man-made and subject to interpretation.
Love one Another is pretty clear, and it appears in some form or another in most religious doctrines. For those not embracing religion, the Golden Rule does it. One should treat others on one would like others to treat oneself.
So, how is "My God thinks you're a bad person" loving? Is that what you want others to say to you? If you step back and thing about your personal intolerance and what it costs you, is it worth the price?
My life is incredibly rich because of the diversity of the people who share it. I love that diversity, and by and large, I love people.
I disagree on certain topics with many people, and on some topic or another with just about everyone. That doesn't mean we don't have common ground. It doesn't mean that I can't learn from everyone. It doesn't mean my life isn't better because of the diversity of the people that are in it. It just means we have different perspectives and subscribe to different belief systems.
Social media has provided many benefits for connection, but the concept that you can and should "unfriend" someone who does not share your belief system is a toxin to human interaction.
Yes, if someone regularly brings harm to you or your loved ones, you should limit your exposure to them. That is not what I see with the proliferation of "unfriending". This "unfriend" action feels small-minded and mean-spirited. It feels like the person choosing to "unfriend" has decided that someone doesn't measure up to their standard of moral perfection, and should be removed.
And the sad thing is that maybe the unfrienders are better than those who proclaim friendship to continue to beseech you to embrace a belief system that you do not share and that does not embrace who you are.
My Higher Power loves each of His creations just the way He made them. I'm not so naive that I pretend that there is no evil in the world. But I do believe the number of people who truly want to cause harm is small. Most harm is caused by carelessness, not malice.
We can all share this planet in harmony, but many choose discord. The price of intolerance is the wonderful gift of all the individuals in the world who don't share your belief system being lost to you. How very sad.
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Monday, June 29, 2015
Adding degrees of difficulty
I had a conversation last week about staying in the habit of challenging yourself to try new things, achieve new goals, and conquer things that are hard for you.
The person I was talking to seemed surprised that I thought it was important to make life hard. That misses the point. Life is hard. It gets even harder if you get out of the habit of hard work, discipline and putting your head down and plowing through the tough stuff.
Perseverance, like any other skill, needs practice to stay sharp. In the course of life, there are hard times and easy times. Perseverance is necessary to successfully negotiate the hard times, so it is important to exercise perseverance in the easy times to maintain the skill.
How can you practice perseverance in the easy times? There are many ways. One way is to voluntarily tackle a chore you absolutely do not want to start much less finish. Forcing yourself to do things you do not enjoy the act of doing, but enjoy the result of, is a great way to practice perseverance.
Learn a new hobby. Even try a new aspect of an old hobby. I love to crochet. I learned to crochet when I was five. I have recently purchased a new crochet book, and am learning new stitches, new techniques, and trying to create new garments unlike anything in my past. Is is difficult? Yes. Have I ripped out hours of stitches? Yes. Did I want to quit? Yes. Am I making progress? Yes. Does it feel great? Absolutely yes!
Last week, on Thursday, I did interval work to improve my racewalking speed and form. I have had a love-hate relationship with speedwork since I started running for fitness in 1987. For those of you who are not familiar with the term speedwork, it is a technique that is used to train your body to go faster. Speedwork develops both foot turnover and oxygen efficiency. A speed workout involves a warm-up, followed by a fixed burst of maximum controlled effort, followed by a fixed recovery period, followed by a fixed burst of maximum controlled effort, followed by a fixed recovery period, with a certain number of repetitions, all closed with a cool-down.
The first maximum controlled effort interval is always painful. These are exhausting workouts if done correctly, and it can be difficult to court exhaustion. Ah, but when the workout is over! Huge endorphin boost (I'll talk about endorphins another day) and huge sense of accomplishment. Plus, you get to exercise your perseverance skills.
The hard times will come. During hard times, it can be difficult to open your eyes, get out of bed, and put one foot in front of the other. If you have practiced your perseverance skills, the power of the habit of perseverance might just be the thing you need to get up and keep going.
So, try something new. Do something that is difficult for you. Add degrees of difficulty in the easy times. Develop habits that make you strong, physically, mentally and emotionally. Be prepared to persevere through the hard times.
And one more thing. Notice others in your world. When they are going through hard times, persevere with them. Your strength can become their strength, your perseverance the boost they need to keep going.
We're all in this together. Remember to use your strength to lift others up, not push them down.
The person I was talking to seemed surprised that I thought it was important to make life hard. That misses the point. Life is hard. It gets even harder if you get out of the habit of hard work, discipline and putting your head down and plowing through the tough stuff.
Perseverance, like any other skill, needs practice to stay sharp. In the course of life, there are hard times and easy times. Perseverance is necessary to successfully negotiate the hard times, so it is important to exercise perseverance in the easy times to maintain the skill.
How can you practice perseverance in the easy times? There are many ways. One way is to voluntarily tackle a chore you absolutely do not want to start much less finish. Forcing yourself to do things you do not enjoy the act of doing, but enjoy the result of, is a great way to practice perseverance.
Learn a new hobby. Even try a new aspect of an old hobby. I love to crochet. I learned to crochet when I was five. I have recently purchased a new crochet book, and am learning new stitches, new techniques, and trying to create new garments unlike anything in my past. Is is difficult? Yes. Have I ripped out hours of stitches? Yes. Did I want to quit? Yes. Am I making progress? Yes. Does it feel great? Absolutely yes!
Last week, on Thursday, I did interval work to improve my racewalking speed and form. I have had a love-hate relationship with speedwork since I started running for fitness in 1987. For those of you who are not familiar with the term speedwork, it is a technique that is used to train your body to go faster. Speedwork develops both foot turnover and oxygen efficiency. A speed workout involves a warm-up, followed by a fixed burst of maximum controlled effort, followed by a fixed recovery period, followed by a fixed burst of maximum controlled effort, followed by a fixed recovery period, with a certain number of repetitions, all closed with a cool-down.
The first maximum controlled effort interval is always painful. These are exhausting workouts if done correctly, and it can be difficult to court exhaustion. Ah, but when the workout is over! Huge endorphin boost (I'll talk about endorphins another day) and huge sense of accomplishment. Plus, you get to exercise your perseverance skills.
The hard times will come. During hard times, it can be difficult to open your eyes, get out of bed, and put one foot in front of the other. If you have practiced your perseverance skills, the power of the habit of perseverance might just be the thing you need to get up and keep going.
So, try something new. Do something that is difficult for you. Add degrees of difficulty in the easy times. Develop habits that make you strong, physically, mentally and emotionally. Be prepared to persevere through the hard times.
And one more thing. Notice others in your world. When they are going through hard times, persevere with them. Your strength can become their strength, your perseverance the boost they need to keep going.
We're all in this together. Remember to use your strength to lift others up, not push them down.
Friday, June 26, 2015
Taking my own advice
A recent post was on the space between darkness and light. In that post, I tried to encourage people to focus on the light, even in dark times. Now I am faced with taking my own advice.
A dear friend lost his battle with cancer this week. Grief lays heavy on my heart. I think about his wife, his children and grandchildren, his siblings, his lifelong friends, and it makes me very sad.
Then I think about him. About the amazing fishing lures he created. The amazing photographs he took. How he loved to fish. How he loved his family. How he could make the room brighter by entering it. And it is a little harder to be sad.
I have a deeply held belief that physical death simply represents a change of state, and that the essence of a being, those things about them that created the unique individual never go away. Energy can neither be created or destroyed, it just changes state. So today, I will look for the energy that tells me he is still here.
I will notice the fish jumping as I walk by the lake. I will look at flowers closely, to try to see the art that could have been created. I will look at bridges for their poetry with the landscape.
There is no guidebook for grief. Don't misinterpret that statement, there are plenty of self-help books, and if one or more helps you, please read it. When I say guidebook, I mean like the guidebook you get in a museum that walks you through, exhibit by exhibit, and tells you something important and pertinent.
Grief is personal. It is lonely. Grief has no fixed timetable. The only advice for someone who is grieving, or someone who is trying to support a grieving loved one, is there is no right answer. Scream if you want to scream, cry if you want to cry. Stay busy like a whirling dervish, or lay in a ball and do nothing. Everyone has to find their own path, and every path is OK.
The one thing I know is the right answer is to never stop talking about or remembering the person who no longer shares this plane of existence. The most comforting thing any of us have are our happy memories. Hearing the name of a loved one you can no longer see brings them back for a moment. Telling their stories keeps them alive forever.
Celebrate the light that our loved ones bring to our lives every day they are here on this planet, and continue to celebrate that light when they are no longer here.
Love never dies. It just changes state. As you journey through grief, as we all must, I pray you continue to feel the love that will always be there.
A dear friend lost his battle with cancer this week. Grief lays heavy on my heart. I think about his wife, his children and grandchildren, his siblings, his lifelong friends, and it makes me very sad.
Then I think about him. About the amazing fishing lures he created. The amazing photographs he took. How he loved to fish. How he loved his family. How he could make the room brighter by entering it. And it is a little harder to be sad.
I have a deeply held belief that physical death simply represents a change of state, and that the essence of a being, those things about them that created the unique individual never go away. Energy can neither be created or destroyed, it just changes state. So today, I will look for the energy that tells me he is still here.
I will notice the fish jumping as I walk by the lake. I will look at flowers closely, to try to see the art that could have been created. I will look at bridges for their poetry with the landscape.
There is no guidebook for grief. Don't misinterpret that statement, there are plenty of self-help books, and if one or more helps you, please read it. When I say guidebook, I mean like the guidebook you get in a museum that walks you through, exhibit by exhibit, and tells you something important and pertinent.
Grief is personal. It is lonely. Grief has no fixed timetable. The only advice for someone who is grieving, or someone who is trying to support a grieving loved one, is there is no right answer. Scream if you want to scream, cry if you want to cry. Stay busy like a whirling dervish, or lay in a ball and do nothing. Everyone has to find their own path, and every path is OK.
The one thing I know is the right answer is to never stop talking about or remembering the person who no longer shares this plane of existence. The most comforting thing any of us have are our happy memories. Hearing the name of a loved one you can no longer see brings them back for a moment. Telling their stories keeps them alive forever.
Celebrate the light that our loved ones bring to our lives every day they are here on this planet, and continue to celebrate that light when they are no longer here.
Love never dies. It just changes state. As you journey through grief, as we all must, I pray you continue to feel the love that will always be there.
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
Parallel Universes
Have you ever been in, or witnessed a conversation where it was obvious that even though words were being exchanged, no communication was taking place? I tend to categorize these times as moments in parallel universes.
Many people believe there is one reality, one truth. I have long believed that we all exist in our own reality, and perceive our own truth.
Everything we see, everything we hear, is filtered through the lens of our specific life experience, and how it has shaped us.
I think this is a wonderful thing. It means that if I am willing to listen, I can constantly experience life in a brand new way by embracing someone else's perspective.
The ability to try to see things from another's perspective opens life up to incredible depth and texture. It allows for empathy. It diffuses arguments.
But these parallel universes also create division among us when we refuse to accept that they exist.
It is really quite simple. If someone tells you something offends them, hurts their feelings, or angers them, it does. It is not your job to tell them that their feelings are not valid. If you want to grow as a person, you can seek to understand why that something offends them, hurts their feelings, or angers them.
In your effort to see past the edges of your own universe, you open yourself up to the magic and wonder of another universe.
Each of us brings our own gifts. To enjoy the gifts of another person fully, you must establish a trusting relationship with them. A hard truth is that in order for someone to trust you, you have to prove yourself worthy of their trust. Proving yourself worthy of trust usually involves opening yourself up to see the other person's perspective - their universe.
The world becomes so much easier to live in when you let go of believing there is one right way, and start looking for the way that is the least hurtful for the most people. Allowing yourself to be enriched by other's perspectives, allowing yourself to grow in understanding and compassion, also allows for new relationships with diverse people to be formed.
We are all the product of our life experiences. We all live a unique reality. We all inhabit our own specific and wonderful universe. If you take the time to invest in people, to learn about them and their universe, your universe will be enriched. The edges of your universe will soften, and parts of your universe will overlap the universes of the people you have opened yourself up to. There is a richness and complexity to life that can only be enjoyed if you open yourself up to realities beyond the boundaries of the reality you are familiar with. Beyond those boundaries lie peace and true understanding.
I hope you are encouraged to journey outside your universe. May you find amazing and wonderful things there.
Many people believe there is one reality, one truth. I have long believed that we all exist in our own reality, and perceive our own truth.
Everything we see, everything we hear, is filtered through the lens of our specific life experience, and how it has shaped us.
I think this is a wonderful thing. It means that if I am willing to listen, I can constantly experience life in a brand new way by embracing someone else's perspective.
The ability to try to see things from another's perspective opens life up to incredible depth and texture. It allows for empathy. It diffuses arguments.
But these parallel universes also create division among us when we refuse to accept that they exist.
It is really quite simple. If someone tells you something offends them, hurts their feelings, or angers them, it does. It is not your job to tell them that their feelings are not valid. If you want to grow as a person, you can seek to understand why that something offends them, hurts their feelings, or angers them.
In your effort to see past the edges of your own universe, you open yourself up to the magic and wonder of another universe.
Each of us brings our own gifts. To enjoy the gifts of another person fully, you must establish a trusting relationship with them. A hard truth is that in order for someone to trust you, you have to prove yourself worthy of their trust. Proving yourself worthy of trust usually involves opening yourself up to see the other person's perspective - their universe.
The world becomes so much easier to live in when you let go of believing there is one right way, and start looking for the way that is the least hurtful for the most people. Allowing yourself to be enriched by other's perspectives, allowing yourself to grow in understanding and compassion, also allows for new relationships with diverse people to be formed.
We are all the product of our life experiences. We all live a unique reality. We all inhabit our own specific and wonderful universe. If you take the time to invest in people, to learn about them and their universe, your universe will be enriched. The edges of your universe will soften, and parts of your universe will overlap the universes of the people you have opened yourself up to. There is a richness and complexity to life that can only be enjoyed if you open yourself up to realities beyond the boundaries of the reality you are familiar with. Beyond those boundaries lie peace and true understanding.
I hope you are encouraged to journey outside your universe. May you find amazing and wonderful things there.
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
No time to be nice
I was listening to the news this morning, and there was a report that people feel they don't have time to be nice at work anymore.
Seriously? No time to be nice?
How does being nice take time? Now if you say that there is less time in your workday for socializing than there used to be, you probably have my sympathy. Many jobs are now consolidated jobs, and there is often little to no down time during a work day. But, if you are checking Twitter or Facebook or Instagram on your lunch break instead of talking with your co-workers and building relationships with them, you may be missing out on a great opportunity to make new friends and make work more enjoyable.
After almost forty years in the work world, I have a rich pool of experience to draw from on the many different workplace dynamics that can be encountered.
I did work in places where the people I worked with would never be my friends. That did not excuse me from being nice to them, to inquiring about their well-being, and to volunteering to help them when they were challenged.
I am a strong believer that our mental health depends on having strong connections with others. For some, making strong connections is very difficult, and takes a long time. Just because it is difficult, that doesn't mean you should stop trying. Some of my closest family and best friends are introverts. Most introverts are slow to make friendships, but the friendships they forge last forever. In my world, these are some of the richest and most rewarding relationships I have, and they were absolutely worth the investment needed to create the relationships.
If you find that you think you don't have time to forge relationships at work, I think it is important to ask yourself why? Do you not see common ground with the people you work with? Is there a serious difference in world view that creates conflict?
If you truly have no common ground with the people you are working with, I would encourage you to seek employment elsewhere. Being surrounded by people that you cannot find common ground with is exhausting.
If there is only one person you have common ground with, invest some time with that person. The relationship with that person will make it easier to go to work and will make work more enjoyable.
If you think you have no time to forge relationships at work, even though you have much common ground, how are you spending your time that it prevents forming relationships?
If you are on track to be the CEO or COO of your company, go on with your solitary ways. If however, you are just trying to make a living so that you can have a life, remember your life is the sum of the relationships you have, and the quality of those relationships.
Each workplace relationship I entered enriched me in some way. I learned from each and every relationship. The best way to become the best "you" you can be is to pay attention to the attitudes and behaviors of others, and reflect on the consequences of those attitudes and behaviors. In most cases, polite interaction fosters polite interaction. Caring behavior fosters caring behavior.
My favorite theme, we create the world we inhabit. Treat people kindly, be compassionate, be gentle, and by and large you will be treated with gentle, kindly compassion. And on the occasions your kindness is met with hostility, you can remain kind, knowing you have a core group of people that will soothe your hurt when you get back to them.
It doesn't take more time to be nice. Be as nice to everyone as you possibly can. If you think you have no time to forge relationships at work, examine why not. If you truly have no common ground on which to build relationships, think about changing jobs. Life is too short to live in isolation. Relationships feed our souls and help us to thrive, both personally and professionally. Never let your pursuit of income get in the way of your pursuit of life.
Seriously? No time to be nice?
How does being nice take time? Now if you say that there is less time in your workday for socializing than there used to be, you probably have my sympathy. Many jobs are now consolidated jobs, and there is often little to no down time during a work day. But, if you are checking Twitter or Facebook or Instagram on your lunch break instead of talking with your co-workers and building relationships with them, you may be missing out on a great opportunity to make new friends and make work more enjoyable.
After almost forty years in the work world, I have a rich pool of experience to draw from on the many different workplace dynamics that can be encountered.
I did work in places where the people I worked with would never be my friends. That did not excuse me from being nice to them, to inquiring about their well-being, and to volunteering to help them when they were challenged.
I am a strong believer that our mental health depends on having strong connections with others. For some, making strong connections is very difficult, and takes a long time. Just because it is difficult, that doesn't mean you should stop trying. Some of my closest family and best friends are introverts. Most introverts are slow to make friendships, but the friendships they forge last forever. In my world, these are some of the richest and most rewarding relationships I have, and they were absolutely worth the investment needed to create the relationships.
If you find that you think you don't have time to forge relationships at work, I think it is important to ask yourself why? Do you not see common ground with the people you work with? Is there a serious difference in world view that creates conflict?
If you truly have no common ground with the people you are working with, I would encourage you to seek employment elsewhere. Being surrounded by people that you cannot find common ground with is exhausting.
If there is only one person you have common ground with, invest some time with that person. The relationship with that person will make it easier to go to work and will make work more enjoyable.
If you think you have no time to forge relationships at work, even though you have much common ground, how are you spending your time that it prevents forming relationships?
If you are on track to be the CEO or COO of your company, go on with your solitary ways. If however, you are just trying to make a living so that you can have a life, remember your life is the sum of the relationships you have, and the quality of those relationships.
Each workplace relationship I entered enriched me in some way. I learned from each and every relationship. The best way to become the best "you" you can be is to pay attention to the attitudes and behaviors of others, and reflect on the consequences of those attitudes and behaviors. In most cases, polite interaction fosters polite interaction. Caring behavior fosters caring behavior.
My favorite theme, we create the world we inhabit. Treat people kindly, be compassionate, be gentle, and by and large you will be treated with gentle, kindly compassion. And on the occasions your kindness is met with hostility, you can remain kind, knowing you have a core group of people that will soothe your hurt when you get back to them.
It doesn't take more time to be nice. Be as nice to everyone as you possibly can. If you think you have no time to forge relationships at work, examine why not. If you truly have no common ground on which to build relationships, think about changing jobs. Life is too short to live in isolation. Relationships feed our souls and help us to thrive, both personally and professionally. Never let your pursuit of income get in the way of your pursuit of life.
Monday, June 22, 2015
The space between darkness and light
It often seems that the easiest path through life is to focus on the extremes. The events that are truly wonderful, or truly terrible. The people that are a blessing to us, and the people that challenge us the most. In reality, most of life happens in the space between darkness and light.
Again, unfortunately, it is very easy to see the darkness in every day. The news is full of tragic stories of loss, of betrayal, and of unmitigated greed. It takes real effort to see the light.
My challenge today to everyone reading this blog is to look for the light. The darkness will always be there, and at times, it will overpower your best efforts to see the light, look anyway.
Where are the sources of light in your life? For me, light comes with the wag of a doggy tail, or the feel of a furry doggy body snuggling up as close to me as possible. Light comes from a sunny day, a soft breeze, the smell and taste of a tomato fresh from the garden. Light fills me from the love and companionship I share with my husband. Exercise lights me up.
Light is found in birdsong, and in the sight of flowers blooming. Light is in the sound of children's laughter, and in their voices raised in song.
Light is in the memories of my life. Good times with family and friends. Accomplishments in school, in sports and at work.
Light is added with service. The simple act of calling a friend, sending a card or email, posting an encouraging comment on social media will bring more light to your life.
Cooking a special meal for someone, using your talents to make a gift, light shines forth.
Meditating on your higher power, and your place in the universe should bring light. You have the power to make the world a better place. Think about the light you can bring and bring it.
When the world news is very dark, when life's challenges seem overwhelming, it is easy to sink into the darkness. When those you love start sinking, try to figure out what you can do to bring them light.
When the darkness seeks to overwhelm you, reach out to those that bring light to your life. Most of our lives are spent in the space between darkness and light. We can choose to face the light. We can choose to be the light.
Never underestimate your power to make the world a better place. Let your light shine.
Again, unfortunately, it is very easy to see the darkness in every day. The news is full of tragic stories of loss, of betrayal, and of unmitigated greed. It takes real effort to see the light.
My challenge today to everyone reading this blog is to look for the light. The darkness will always be there, and at times, it will overpower your best efforts to see the light, look anyway.
Where are the sources of light in your life? For me, light comes with the wag of a doggy tail, or the feel of a furry doggy body snuggling up as close to me as possible. Light comes from a sunny day, a soft breeze, the smell and taste of a tomato fresh from the garden. Light fills me from the love and companionship I share with my husband. Exercise lights me up.
Light is found in birdsong, and in the sight of flowers blooming. Light is in the sound of children's laughter, and in their voices raised in song.
Light is in the memories of my life. Good times with family and friends. Accomplishments in school, in sports and at work.
Light is added with service. The simple act of calling a friend, sending a card or email, posting an encouraging comment on social media will bring more light to your life.
Cooking a special meal for someone, using your talents to make a gift, light shines forth.
Meditating on your higher power, and your place in the universe should bring light. You have the power to make the world a better place. Think about the light you can bring and bring it.
When the world news is very dark, when life's challenges seem overwhelming, it is easy to sink into the darkness. When those you love start sinking, try to figure out what you can do to bring them light.
When the darkness seeks to overwhelm you, reach out to those that bring light to your life. Most of our lives are spent in the space between darkness and light. We can choose to face the light. We can choose to be the light.
Never underestimate your power to make the world a better place. Let your light shine.
Friday, June 19, 2015
Overwhelming sadness
As a rule, I try to be upbeat and inspiring on this blog, but my tank is just empty. The terrorist act of entering a church during bible study and murdering people at prayer has broken my heart. The media has begun its endless dialogue on mental health, and gun control, and racism. But they are not talking about the monster that the media feeds, the monster of hate.
How did we become this nation of haters? Did the 24-7 news world run out of things to talk about if they didn't talk about what was wrong with one group of people or another? I had to change the church I attend because my former parish didn't talk about what God expected from me anymore, they just talked about who God wanted me to hate and fear.
Newsflash - the God I believe in doesn't want us to hate or fear anyone. I'll be the first to admit, I try to be a get along person. I try to allow people to have whatever beliefs that they want to have. It is a slippery slope from allowing people to think however they want to think to being silent when they voice a dangerous level of hate or intolerance.
I am a Catholic. I don't always agree with my church, but I'll always be a Catholic. Catholic doctrine teaches we are all one in the Body of Christ. No race, no religion, no nationality, no gender identification can separate us from the Body of Christ. Some may not embrace Christ, He still embraces them. Some actively turn away from Christ, only in turning away from Christ can people commit the heinous crimes like the terrorist shootings in Charleston.
I appreciate that you may not call your higher power Christ. You may not believe in a theistic dogma. I'm OK with that. I think that there is a force for good in the universe that unites us. We need to be more aware of and obedient to that force.
Every one of us needs to speak out against the hate. We need to work really hard to see the similarities with others, instead of the differences. We need to actively seek common ground. We need to call each other out when we are unkind, and challenge each other to be kind and supportive. We also need to pay attention to someone who speaks too easily and freely in a hateful manner. We should report these people to the authorities, in the hope that they can be stopped before they commit horrific violence.
I deeply believe we have too much of a gun-friendly culture in the United States. But I also believe that a gun in the hands of someone who hates no one, and who means no one any harm is not a terrible thing. The terrible thing is the glorification of violence as a way to solve problems. The terrible thing is the mockery of people who want to understand and find compromise and common ground. How did understanding and compromise become equivalent to weakness? Weak people yell and scream and solve problems with bullying and violence. Strong people hold their temper, discuss alternatives, and find compromise.
The United States has suffered significant racial and social tension for all of our history. There is only one race. The human race. You are making as much sense to hate people with freckles or blue eyes or who are right handed as it makes sense to hate someone based on the color of their skin, their sexual preference or their gender identification.
Be a voice to stop the hating. Love one another. Find your common ground with everyone. Embrace kindness. Do not tolerate hate. Speak out against violence. Pray to your higher power. Build up your family and friends. We must not let hate win. We must embrace the power of love to make it better.
How did we become this nation of haters? Did the 24-7 news world run out of things to talk about if they didn't talk about what was wrong with one group of people or another? I had to change the church I attend because my former parish didn't talk about what God expected from me anymore, they just talked about who God wanted me to hate and fear.
Newsflash - the God I believe in doesn't want us to hate or fear anyone. I'll be the first to admit, I try to be a get along person. I try to allow people to have whatever beliefs that they want to have. It is a slippery slope from allowing people to think however they want to think to being silent when they voice a dangerous level of hate or intolerance.
I am a Catholic. I don't always agree with my church, but I'll always be a Catholic. Catholic doctrine teaches we are all one in the Body of Christ. No race, no religion, no nationality, no gender identification can separate us from the Body of Christ. Some may not embrace Christ, He still embraces them. Some actively turn away from Christ, only in turning away from Christ can people commit the heinous crimes like the terrorist shootings in Charleston.
I appreciate that you may not call your higher power Christ. You may not believe in a theistic dogma. I'm OK with that. I think that there is a force for good in the universe that unites us. We need to be more aware of and obedient to that force.
Every one of us needs to speak out against the hate. We need to work really hard to see the similarities with others, instead of the differences. We need to actively seek common ground. We need to call each other out when we are unkind, and challenge each other to be kind and supportive. We also need to pay attention to someone who speaks too easily and freely in a hateful manner. We should report these people to the authorities, in the hope that they can be stopped before they commit horrific violence.
I deeply believe we have too much of a gun-friendly culture in the United States. But I also believe that a gun in the hands of someone who hates no one, and who means no one any harm is not a terrible thing. The terrible thing is the glorification of violence as a way to solve problems. The terrible thing is the mockery of people who want to understand and find compromise and common ground. How did understanding and compromise become equivalent to weakness? Weak people yell and scream and solve problems with bullying and violence. Strong people hold their temper, discuss alternatives, and find compromise.
The United States has suffered significant racial and social tension for all of our history. There is only one race. The human race. You are making as much sense to hate people with freckles or blue eyes or who are right handed as it makes sense to hate someone based on the color of their skin, their sexual preference or their gender identification.
Be a voice to stop the hating. Love one another. Find your common ground with everyone. Embrace kindness. Do not tolerate hate. Speak out against violence. Pray to your higher power. Build up your family and friends. We must not let hate win. We must embrace the power of love to make it better.
Monday, June 15, 2015
Encouragement
Did you ever start to think about a word or an idea, and then think about it so much that it stopped being something familiar and started again as something brand new? That is what has happened to me over the last few days with the word encouragement.
I've always been a big fan of encouragement. Both for offering encouragement to others, and for whispering under my breath, "You can do this, Anne Marie, you've got it. Just hang on a few more minutes. Keep breathing in and out." I hope you all know the positive self-talk mantras you use to get yourself through the rough spots.
But as I thought about word encouragement this week, I thought a lot about the fact that the word 'courage' is embedded in there.
From Dictionary.com the prefix "en" means:
a prefix occurring originally in loanwords from French and productive in
English on this model, forming verbs with the general sense “to cause
(a person or thing) to be in ”the place, condition, or state named by the stem;
So using this definition, to encourage is to cause a person to be in a state or condition of courage. Wow.
What a powerful concept. When you encourage someone, you are endeavoring to give them the courage they need to attempt or complete something that is challenging for them.
The human spirit is both the most fragile, and the most resilient force in nature. As our lives evolve, the fragility of our spirit ebbs and flows. It is difficult, to impossible, to observe the strength of someone's spirit until it is tested. Our job as humans is to build up those fragile spirits so that they can face the challenges of their day.
That is where encouragement comes in. If you think about it, how difficult is it to offer encouragement to those that you meet throughout the day?
A simple, "You're doing a great job"; "Thanks for helping me, I needed that, and you really changed my day"; "Your smile warmed my heart, Thank you"; for those chance encounters with people we don't know.
With those who inhabit your life? For some reason, these may be the hardest people to encourage. It is so ridiculously easy to focus on the shoes in the den, the dishes in the sink instead of the dishwasher, the socks on the bedroom floor; instead of the soft kiss on the top of the head, the bright smile because "Mommy" walked into the room, the whispered "I love you" upon awakening and prior to getting out of bed.
You will enjoy the behavior you encourage and support. Challenge yourself to focus on the good, to offer encouragement today. "Thank you for being affectionate with me, I treasure that, and you lift me up with your little displays of affection"; "Mommy loves you, sweetheart, you have a beautiful heart and you make the world brighter with your smile"; "I love you too! And I appreciate how you never let a day go by without telling me".
You have the power to give the people in your life the courage to face all of life's challenges by building up thier spirit with every interaction. Become a force for good. Remember we are all fragile, but resilient. Build the resilience of those you love with encouragement and praise.
The best part? Encouragement and kindness feed each other. The more you encourage those you love, the more their behavior will encourage you to continue encouraging them.
You CAN make the world a better place. One encouraging word at a time.
I've always been a big fan of encouragement. Both for offering encouragement to others, and for whispering under my breath, "You can do this, Anne Marie, you've got it. Just hang on a few more minutes. Keep breathing in and out." I hope you all know the positive self-talk mantras you use to get yourself through the rough spots.
But as I thought about word encouragement this week, I thought a lot about the fact that the word 'courage' is embedded in there.
From Dictionary.com the prefix "en" means:
a prefix occurring originally in loanwords from French and productive in
English on this model, forming verbs with the general sense “to cause
(a person or thing) to be in ”the place, condition, or state named by the stem;
So using this definition, to encourage is to cause a person to be in a state or condition of courage. Wow.
What a powerful concept. When you encourage someone, you are endeavoring to give them the courage they need to attempt or complete something that is challenging for them.
The human spirit is both the most fragile, and the most resilient force in nature. As our lives evolve, the fragility of our spirit ebbs and flows. It is difficult, to impossible, to observe the strength of someone's spirit until it is tested. Our job as humans is to build up those fragile spirits so that they can face the challenges of their day.
That is where encouragement comes in. If you think about it, how difficult is it to offer encouragement to those that you meet throughout the day?
A simple, "You're doing a great job"; "Thanks for helping me, I needed that, and you really changed my day"; "Your smile warmed my heart, Thank you"; for those chance encounters with people we don't know.
With those who inhabit your life? For some reason, these may be the hardest people to encourage. It is so ridiculously easy to focus on the shoes in the den, the dishes in the sink instead of the dishwasher, the socks on the bedroom floor; instead of the soft kiss on the top of the head, the bright smile because "Mommy" walked into the room, the whispered "I love you" upon awakening and prior to getting out of bed.
You will enjoy the behavior you encourage and support. Challenge yourself to focus on the good, to offer encouragement today. "Thank you for being affectionate with me, I treasure that, and you lift me up with your little displays of affection"; "Mommy loves you, sweetheart, you have a beautiful heart and you make the world brighter with your smile"; "I love you too! And I appreciate how you never let a day go by without telling me".
You have the power to give the people in your life the courage to face all of life's challenges by building up thier spirit with every interaction. Become a force for good. Remember we are all fragile, but resilient. Build the resilience of those you love with encouragement and praise.
The best part? Encouragement and kindness feed each other. The more you encourage those you love, the more their behavior will encourage you to continue encouraging them.
You CAN make the world a better place. One encouraging word at a time.
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