Soup

As the string of grey and blustery days continued, my husband requested that I make a pot of  minestrone soup, using my dad's recipe.

Well, for anyone that has ever made a pot of soup from the raw ingredients, you know that it it important that you blend the right flavors.   Too much of any one thing can ruin the soup.

Your ingredients need to complement each other, some flavors fight with other flavors for dominance, and some flavors enhance each other.  Your soup needs to only contain flavors that will not cause a discordant taste that is displeasing to the palette.

The key to a really good soup is where the individual flavors stand out, but blend with and complement the other flavors in the soup.  And the whole is always greater than the parts.

Bingo!  Soup as a metaphor for a work group, a team, and a happy family.

Every work group, every team, every family, is a blend of personalities, of talents, of idiosyncrasies, of challenges, of needs, of flavors if you will.

The teams and families that work, that are productive, that are enriching, that are a joy to experience, are those where each individual is allowed to be who they are, and bring to the group the unique qualities that make them special.

Because being a human is more complex than being a carrot, it can be more difficult to get the ingredients right for success.

Let's start with a team or work group.  As a team or work group leader, you have the ability to pick people for your team and work group based on the skills and talents needed for the work that needs to be done.  While having the right skills and talents is very important, so is team and work group chemistry.

Back to the soup - sometimes really strong individuals do not do their best work as part of a team.  Some people really prefer to work alone.  Just like certain flavors may overpower your soup, certain personalities may overpower and cripple your team.

If you have an individual on your team or in your work group who is not very good at collaboration, you need to figure out how to maximize that individual's potential without hurting the rest of the team.

Sometimes, you can do this by making that individual a sub-team leader.  There may be data analysis that is needed that they can do as an individual. There may be a need for editing, or research that is in their skill set.

It is important to not minimize the contribution of those on your team who are not good at teamwork, but to not allow them to damage the team either.

Sometimes, it may be appropriate to help the individual learn to be a better team player.  Over the course of my career, I had the great privilege to see many people grow in their ability to work well with others.

It is more difficult in family life, because, as a rule, we don't get to pick our families.  The soup of family life is harder to get right, because we get the ingredients we get, and have to find a way to make them work.

It still all starts with valuing each individual as an individual.  If you are in a family situation where you are not valued for the individual you are, that doesn't diminish your value.  In those cases, it may be necessary to separate from the people you share genetics with, and create a family who shares your values.

So let's stick with basically healthy families, who value each other.  Even those families have their conflicts.  In the soup of family harmony, what are the topics that spoil the soup for your family?

There is no need to dwell on the differences you have with your family.  It is an amazing and complex universe, with simply thousands of things to talk about and think about and discuss and discover.  Find and celebrate those things.

It can be hobbies or history or science or words and word games or animals or movies or music or theater or food or a multitude of other things.

You don't need to bring the whole pantry to the soup of a family get together.  Just bring the ingredients that will create a warm and satisfying experience.

The other great thing for me about soup is the memories it evokes.  As my husband and I ate our minestrone soup last night, all the nights with my mom and dad at the table eating the soup and enjoying each others company became part of the enjoyment of the experience.

The warmth of good memories brought as much comfort as the warmth and flavor of the soup.

I hope the soup of your life is flavorful, and warm and comforting.  And that you can always find a way to make a pot on the dark days.