Losing your voice

I think almost everyone is acquainted with the phenomenon of losing your physical voice.  It may be a cold, or too much cheering at an athletic event, or too much Christmas caroling, but sometimes we open our mouths to speak, and no sound comes out, or the sound is very muted or distorted.

Usually, some vocal rest, and maybe some tea with honey and lemon, and our voice comes back.

The concept that is more foreign to most people, but equally real, is losing your emotional, or social voice.  Let me explain.

As children, most of us freely exhibit our emotions.  Children laugh and cry and shout and scream and basically demonstrate their feelings.  Children almost always have a potent emotional and social voice.

As we grow up, we are usually taught to moderate our voice - to use our inside voice - to temper our emotions - to display a more calm and measured face to the world.

I'm not opposed to this.  I like calm, measured conversation.  I like order.  But too much internal censorship can lead to losing your voice.

As with everything, there is a careful balance to be maintained.  There is a healthy way to moderate your voice.  I strongly believe in the "Is it true?  Is it kind? Is it necessary?" internal filter on my voice.

Unfortunately, though, it is easy for other factors to silence our emotional and social voice.

Painful memories can manifest in losing your voice.  Grief can steal your voice.  Loneliness can steal your voice.  Feeling "less than" can steal your voice.

Often what causes us to lose our voice is the belief that no one is listening anyway.  It can be easy to think that your voice won't be missed, and that your voice is not important.

Every voice is important.  You are important.  Your contribution to the human conversation is important.

If you feel like you have lost your voice, please try to heal your emotional voice as you would your physical voice.  Rest.  Nurture yourself.  And then start slowly to use your voice again.

Express your voice in writing, if that is easier for you.  Reach out to a close friend or family member.  Pick the nicest cashier at the supermarket, and say something nice to them about how you notice they are so friendly.

Just like your physical voice is hard to use after you have lost it for a while, so is your emotional and social voice.  But the world needs to hear you.  The gifts you bring are yours and yours alone.