Circles

Most people have heard the axiom, "What comes around, goes around."

I tend to like neatness and order, so I am always looking to complete the circle.

It might be because I look for it, but all around me throughout my life, I have seen circles closing.

I see life as a circle.  The circle begins at birth, and ends at death.  That is not to say that I don't believe in life after death, because I do, that is simply the beginning of a new circle.

As we create the circle that is our life, we allow what we choose to allow inside our circle.  We pick the people that stay in our circle, we pick the hobbies, the passions, the employment, the education we put in our circle.  We choose the world view.  We can live in a very big, inclusive circle, or we can live in a very small, exclusive circle.

The bigger and more inclusive the circle you create, the noisier it will be.   There will be discord and disharmony in your circle if it is big enough to include people who don't look like you, or think like you.  If your circle is big and inclusive, there will be people in your circle that actively dislike each other, and can't help being vocal about that dislike, and that will hurt you, and tire your heart and your spirit.

But you will have an incredible richness of life with a big, inclusive circle.  And the bigger and more inclusive your circle is, the more overlap you will have with other people's circles.   And where the circles overlap, where the Venn Diagram union exists, will be more people that touch people outside your circle, so your boundaries can expand, to include more richness, more ideas, more diversity.

When the noise in your circle is hostile, it can be very tempting to redraw your circle to be small and exclusive and only include those most like you.  Some people get so hurt by the noise they shrink their circle to include only them.

I choose to keep my circle big and inclusive.  I choose to love people that I share little common ground with, because I share something with them, and I choose to see people's value as more than their opinions, or viewpoints.  I choose to allow the people in my circle to be who they are, even if I am uncomfortable with some of who they are.   I don't allow the people in my circle to be unkind to other people in my circle with my knowledge, but in my heart, I know they sometimes are when I'm not looking or listening.

I choose to keep them in my circle anyway.  Because if I don't talk to you, if I don't listen to you, if I don't try to understand you, I can't expect you to talk to, or listen to, or try to understand me.  And that conversation is what makes the world better and more inclusive.

One thing that I am conscious I need to guard against is the tendency of our circles to shrink as we age.  If we don't keep expanding and adding to our circles, we can see other's circles on this earth close, and ours can shrink through attrition.  I actively add to my circle.  I love the different perspective new people bring, especially younger people.  My friends who are thirty years younger than me bring an entirely new vibe than my friends who are thirty years older than me.  They help me grow my perspective, and they energize me.

If you have chosen a small, exclusive circle, I love you too.  For some, a big, inclusive circle is too uncomfortable or noisy or scary, so small is better for them.  The world needs small circle people too.

At the end of my time on earth, when my circle closes, I hope the people in my circle look at my life as fulfilled, well-lived, and full of love and hope.  And I hope they smile when they remember.

And that for me, will be a perfect circle.