Imperfect Understanding

As my regular readers know, I am Catholic.  I believe in God as my Higher Power, and I believe that He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die for our sins.  I went to Catholic school from first to tenth grade.

One of the things that never happened to me in all my years of Catholic education is I never came to believe that I had insight into exactly what God wants from us all.

I think I have a pretty good idea of what God wants from me.  He wants me to be good to other people.  To treat people with kindness and compassion.  He wants me to forgive others.  He wants me to help others.  He wants me to be joyful in my life, as an example of how a life lived for others is a joyful life.

I'm astounded by how many people raised in a faith tradition think they know what God requires from everyone else.

I'm astounded by the unkindness, the bigotry, the exclusion that people promote in the name of their God.

In the first grade, I was given a great gift.  My first grade teacher was a Sister of Mercy, named Sister Mary Eustace.  I loved Sister Eustace very much.   One of the things we learned in religion in first grade was that God always is, always was, and always will be.  That was a real struggle for me.  I remember asking Sister Eustace who made God.  Because how could anything be without being made.   Sister Eustace took my face in her hands, and looked me right in the eye and told me.  "Anne Marie, God is infinite.  You are finite.  Your finite mind can never understand the infinite.  So, that is what faith is.  Believing in that which is beyond your understanding."

I've been told that this must be a false memory.  Because a first grader wouldn't know what the words 'finite' and 'infinite' even meant.

I don't think it is a false memory.  I think I remember it so clearly because I didn't understand what Sister Eustace was saying, but I felt her love, and understood the takeaway message.  I can never understand God.  I can never speak for God.  I can only try to have faith in Him, and do His will.

So every time I see another hateful, exclusionary statement about what God wants or doesn't want, I think about Sister Eustace.  And about our imperfect understanding of our Higher Power, whatever we perceive it to be.

And I think about my imperfect understanding of my Higher Power, who demands that I do not judge others, and do not decide what God wants from others.

And I keep on keeping on.  Trying to be kind.  Trying to be gentle.  Trying to take care of others.  Trying to bring good into the universe.

Because it really doesn't matter if you believe in God or not.  Or if you believe in a different higher power.  Or if you believe in a very punitive God.

Your belief if your belief.  And it is based on faith, not on fact.  Based on an imperfect understanding of the infinite, if you believe in an Infinite.

Life is hard.  There are days when it takes everything you have in you just to get out of bed and put one foot in front of the other.

There is no reason to make life harder than it already is.  Whoever you are, you don't understand exactly what God wants from everyone.

Concentrate on what you believe He or your Higher Power, or Karma or the Universe wants from you.  Be the best you you can be.

Try as hard as you can to refrain from presenting yourself as an expert on what God wants from everyone.

Because if you really believe in God, you know you can never understand His Infinite Wisdom.

So stop acting like you can.  That makes it appear that you have put yourself on the same level with the God you profess to believe in.

And we all have an imperfect understanding. The one answer that is consistent with all religions, and all ethical belief systems is treat others as you want to be treated.

Love and kindness are never the wrong answer.

Arrogance and the certainty that you have a perfect understanding of what God's plans are is never the right answer.

Hate has no place in religion.  Hate should have no place in humanity.  As long as we use God and religion as a tool to punish and separate, there will never be peace and harmony.

So, believe what you want.  Believe what you must.  Do your best to do the good you can do, and allow others the same freedom.

It is an imperfect understanding, not a weapon to bludgeon those who believe differently than you.