Imaginary Lives

As children, most of us had imaginary lives.  We were princesses and pirates, ballerinas and magicians, soldiers and teachers, presidents and kings.  Unfortunately, many humans give up their imaginary lives as they get older.  I think this is a terrible mistake.

Just to be clear, imaginary lives are just that, imaginary.   To think that these imaginings are going to become reality is dangerous, and can lead to a life full of disappointment and angst.  But to use these imaginings as children do, to entertain your mind, to take you to a happier place, and to help you frame your dreams and ambitions, this is the power of imaginary lives.

Try to remember when you lived in your imaginary lives as a child.  For most of us, it was while we were at play, or in time out to distract from being in time out, or when in bed and too full of energy to sleep.  These imaginary lives entertained us, they distracted us from discomfort, and for many of us, the imaginary lives led to thinking about the real life we wanted.

Continuing to have imaginary lives as a grown-up provides the same benefits.  Imaginary lives can lift us out of the doldrums, can distract us from the tediousness of everyday life, and can help us direct the next phase of our existence.

I'll try to clarify by sharing some of my imaginary lives.  As a child, I imagined I would have a pack of children, 10 or 12 at least.  As life worked out, I have one child and two stepchildren.  Am I disappointed that my imaginary life didn't come to fruition?  NO!  Why did I want all those children?  I wanted many children because I love to nurture people.  I love to see people become the best they can be.  So, I channelled all of that nurturing energy into people I have met that needed nurturing.  Some of these were short-term relationships, but many of them are enduring lifetime relationships that are precious to me.  These people are the family I chose.  This is how you can use your imaginary life to enrich your actual life.

I have an imaginary life where I am very active in animal rescue, and foster dogs until they can find a permanent home.  In reality, I have two very needy and not happy to share dogs that would freak out if I brought a foster dog into my home.  To manage the gap between my real life and my imaginary life, I imagine a time when I have no dog, and think I am too old to make the 17-18 year commitment to a puppy.  In my imaginary life, at that point I will have a series of foster dogs.  Satisfying my imaginary life, and my need for canine companionship, without worrying about what will become of my companion when I die.

I also have a completely ridiculous imaginary life, where my book becomes a best-seller, I get to be on all the talk shows, and George Clooney plays the role of Jean-Luc.  Do I really imagine any of that will happen?  No, but it sure is fun to think about.

This is but a sample of my imaginary lives.  To be honest, I have thousands of them.

Using your imaginary lives to entertain yourself, to comfort yourself, and to help define what you really want is a very helpful and empowering thing.  Used correctly, your imaginary lives can help you define the real life you want, and help you identify alternative strategies that will satisfy the needs you have, and help you to be happy with the real life you live.

And by the way, that princess wave I perfected as a child?  A great tool to entertain the crowd when I pass them in a road race.   And it works even without the tiara and wand.