Like water on rock

I don't like to argue with people.  That is not to say that I don't feel comfortable stating my position on things.  It is just that most of the time, I don't think anything is accomplished by arguing.   I'm not confident that one person can ever convince another person to change their mind.  I know you can bully another person into agreeing with you, but that is not the same.

I also have long believed that if you provide a person with facts and data, and leave them alone to study and analyze, you are far more likely to win them over than by forcing them to agree with you in a public forum.

I also have always believed that compromise is the ideal.  Everyone gives a little, everyone gets a little, compromise is never perfect, but it is usually closer to perfect than either extreme.

I have always believed that if you agree to disagree, and stay your course, that your behavior and the results you achieve say everything that needs to be said.  And when time passes and it turns out that your position yielded the result you sought, you should have no problem just keeping quiet and not saying "I told you so".  Because being right doesn't matter as much as the fact that you did the right thing.

When I was working, I often felt I was trying to change the world.  Working in Safety and Health, you are often viewed as out of touch with reality, as an obstructionist, as a necessary nuisance that hinders reaching production and maintenance goals.

But I never felt that way about what I did.  I believed, and still believe, that everyone is entitled (yes, I did specifically use the word entitled) to a workplace free of impending death or disability.  I know you cannot create a perfectly safe world.  But you can eliminate and mitigate recognizable hazards to the point that if an accident happens, the results are mitigated to present the least long term negative impact to the employee.

So, in my working career, I strongly stated my position on numerous occasions.  Sometimes, I was heard.  Sometimes not.  As a leader, I listened to my team, and sometimes went forward with their position, sometimes worked out a compromise, and sometimes I insisted it had to be my way.

But in life, I am not the leader.  I'm part of many teams.  Teams of family, teams of friends, teams of associates, teams of hobbyists.  Many times the topics of conversation have no conflict.  But often they do.  And I don't like to argue.  So I deflect, or try to educate on nuance.

Lately I've started to wonder if it isn't necessary to be more confrontational.  The angry rhetoric in American politics is frightening to me.  If the voices for peace, and justice and inclusion are never heard, will the voices for hate and discrimination and segregation automatically win?

And it seems as if many of the people who are choosing hate and discrimination and segregation have no time or inclination for data or analysis.  They seem to be like an angry mob, who just want to hear the rhetoric that fans the flames of their anger.  Who want a revolution where they are the winners and they get to trounce on and punish whoever it is they are angry with.

And then I think that confrontation from those of us wanting peace and justice and inclusion will just make us sound like them.  Shouting "I LOVE YOU" angrily just doesn't sound sincere and genuine.

So, I will continue to be water on rock.  I will continue to talk to people who are listening, and pray for enlightenment for those who can not and will not listen.  I don't think I have all the answers, and I don't need anyone to agree with me, but I need people in my world who will listen and think and be open to change.

I'm open to change on many things. But you can be water on rock with me for eternity, and you will never wear away my certainty that love is better than hate, peace is better than war, inclusion is better than segregation, and justice is better than injustice.

The Colorado River formed the Grand Canyon.  I will be equally relentless in my commitment to a better, more loving, more inclusive world.

I won't be an earthquake creating giant schisms and destruction.  I will patiently and consistently stay my course, wearing away at the rock of divisiveness and anger that is so prevalent in America right now.

The more of us that choose inclusion, and love and peace, the more foolish the shouts of hate will sound as they echo without reinforcement.

I can change the world by being steadfast in my beliefs, and in not alienating those who disagree.  Because you can't influence anyone that won't listen to you.

Like water on rock.