The Strange World of Social Media

I decided to unfollow someone on Facebook yesterday.  It would be strong to call this person a friend, as they are more of an acquaintance, but Facebook calls them friends.  I pretty much have a rule that if someone sends me a friend request and I know them, I accept it.   But this person's extreme views on many subjects were upsetting, and I realized that I had no obligation to expose myself to their views.

And that got me to thinking about a conversation I had with my daughter on Saturday.  I talk to lots of people in different settings.  The neighbors, people at church, people at races, people at car shows, people in the grocery store.  The same level of acquaintance that many of my Facebook "friends" are.  And we talk about all kinds of stuff, but I don't really know them.

We talk about weather, and food, and the New Orleans Saints, and Mardi Gras, and music, and books, and plays and local happenings.  Given that I live in a very red state, it is safe to guess their politics, but rarely do politics come up, unless we are complaining about pot holes or police response time, or something really specific and local.

At first, Facebook was just like life.  People posted pictures of their children, and their pets.  They posted about vacations and special restaurant meals and personal accomplishments.

It was a place to go to get caught up on what was happening in each other's lives.  Some people still use Facebook that way, and I don't want to stop using Facebook because of the other people.  The people that can't seem to stop posting divisive and questionable stuff.

I actually don't mind people having an opinion and posting about it.  The people that post links to news stories in publications like the Wall Street Journal, Chicago Tribune, Los Angeles Times, New Orleans Advocate, CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, even Fox News, I can scroll past and not be bothered.

But so many people who I used to think were kind of normal can't seem to help themselves from posting links to fringe sources with bizarre conspiracy theories about just about everything.  Then there are the people that need to post if you don't say "Amen" this or that bad thing will happen.  And the people who post horrific pictures of abused animals and say you need to share those horrific pictures.  What?

So I've started to unfollow people.  They never put their scary up in my face in person, and I don't know why they feel so comfortable putting their scary all over Facebook, but I don't want to see it.  I am not allowing people who wouldn't come to the hospital to see me if I were dying rent space in my head with their bizarre social media persona.

I used to feel kind of bad about unfollowing people.  It felt kind of dishonest.  Like I should unfriend them if I didn't want to see their scary.   But then I thought about it, and I have never felt bad about avoiding subjects in conversation that cause conflict.  I try to avoid social media posts that will provoke conflict.  And when I do post something that I realize will conflict with others, I try to always just put the fact or opinion out there, and not call people who don't agree names.

So for me, unfollowing means I know I can't influence you to stop putting whatever you want on Facebook, but I don't have to watch or entertain it.  In person, I would change the subject.  Well, really, in person, most of the stuff that upsets me never came up.  So if a person is so inclined to post things that are bizarre, unsubstantiated and/or disturbing, I don't need to see it.

Cleaning out the clutter in your home and cleaning out the clutter in your brain are both worthwhile activities.  It is totally within your power and your rights to call yourself a good person, and be a good person without allowing anyone to disturb you with unsubstantiated claims and disturbing images.

Social media seems to have created an alternate reality for many people where they believe that everyone wants to know their opinion on everything, and where they have no obligation to check the veracity of a story before sharing it.

I don't know how to fix that.  But I can certainly avoid it by not following those who put their scary on display day after day.