Body Shaming

When did body shaming become such a thing?  I mean, there has always been the covert body shaming, presenting us with perfect looking air-brushed people that normal humans can never look like.  Models and celebrities with perfect hair and perfect skin and perfect bodies wearing amazing clothes and shoes.  So that all of us would look at a magazine, or at a TV show or movie and feel bad when we looked in the mirror because we knew we could never look like that.

But this body shaming thing has gotten very overt now.  And it is ridiculous.  I read the other day about a plus size model who lost some weight, and her fans are body shaming her for losing weight.  Really?  Amy Schumer is adorable, and regularly gets body shamed for her size.  Really?

This puzzles me in multiple ways.  One, why are we so obsessed with physical appearance?  Two, why are we so obsessed with weight and size? Three, why do we feel like we have the need and the right to comment on someone else's body?

Here is my take on it.  God made us all different.  Some bigger, some smaller.  Some shorter, some taller.  We each have our own normal.  Trying to look like someone else's normal is depressing.

There are thin people who are very unhealthy, there are fat people who are very unhealthy.  But there are healthy people in all sizes.  And commenting on body size and appearance under the guise of worrying about someone's health is disingenuous.  Because body size and health don't have a direct correlation.  And mental health is important too, and you can damage someone's mental health with your comments.

I know that we have an obesity problem in America, and that obesity is linked to many illnesses and diseases.   But really, we're all dying on the installment plan, and you have to be in a very intimate relationship with someone before their particular installment plan is your business.

If you feel the need to comment on appearance, things like "You look fabulous!"  "Love that color on you!"  "Great haircut!"  "Your makeup is flawless, love that smoky eye thing!"  "Your smile makes me happy every time I see it!" are all fine.

"You look like you've lost/gained weight?" Not a great thing.  If someone is proud of losing or gaining weight, when you say "You look fabulous!"  They will provide the information that they lost or gained weight, and then you can say something supportive based on what they have said.

Because what is important is what we can't see, and that is who the person is.  Kind and funny, snarky and witty, mean as a snake or sweet as a puppy, we're all different on the inside too.  And we all are attracted to different types of personalities.   There will be people you meet that become close friends, and others that will only ever be acquaintances.  That is all good.  But all the people you meet, you can build up, or you can tear down.  Why take a chance that you could be the one tearing them down?

Appearance is just not that important.  Look for the person inside.  Treasure the unique personality.  Celebrate your commonality with the people closest to you, and celebrate your differences with those you meet at random.

Life is too short for shaming or being shamed.  Love the body you're in.  It is the only one you have.