You are never as good as you think you are

I'm not trying to be a downer, or to hurt anyone's feelings, but I'd like to caution everyone reading this that most of us are never as good as we think we are.

It can be so easy to say things that take the air out of someone's balloon, or take their good day and put a smudge on it.

And a lot of the time those things that are said are in the group of "I'm good" "You're not".

I'll give some examples to help you see.

"Where is the can opener?  I'm very careful about always putting things back where they belong."

The unstated but always heard rest of the sentence is "And you aren't".

"Who ate the last cookie?  I always ask before taking the last of anything".

The unstated but always heard rest of the sentence is "And you don't".

And here is the reality.  None of us are that good.  We don't always do everything we intend to do.  And we don't never do thoughtless things unintentionally.

So, if you have an urge to say something that will have an unsaid but always heard hurtful afterward, don't say it.

Because we're all fragile.  And none of us need to be told we don't measure up.  Because mostly, we are better than we think we are.

Sounds like I'm contradicting myself, doesn't it?

And that is just the thing.  Inside, we are all fragile, and need reassurance, and need to be told we are worthy and loved.  And when we're feeling particularly unlovable, we sometimes express that by dwelling on the faults of others.

After all, if you are looking at what is wrong with everyone else, there isn't any attention left to look at what is wrong with you.

And we're all just trying to put one foot in front of the other and make it through life as best as we can.

We can all train ourselves to say kind things.  Or nothing.  Maybe "Where's the can opener?"  doesn't need an editorial comment after it.  And if there are no cookies to be found, maybe a piece of cinnamon toast will do the trick, or maybe you could go get more cookies, or even ice cream.

The thing is, a good day is a wonderful thing. And you can never have too many good days.  And putting a smudge on someone's good day is sad.

So think about what you are about to say before you speak.  Speak kindly.  Build people up.  Remember that you are as flawed as everyone else, and that it doesn't feel good when someone points out your flaws.

Be the sunshine, not the shadows in the world.  You can do it.  I know you can.