Empty Words

One of the expressions that has seemingly gained popularity in the last twenty years is the term "Playing the Race Card".

What in the world?  What does that even mean?  I googled the expression, the this is the first hit I got:

Playing the race card is an idiomatic phrase that refers to exploitation of either racist or anti-racist attitudes by accusing others of racism.

I still don't know what it means.  

It seems to me that part of being human is looking to belong.  And yet, we humans have come up with all sorts of ways to define ourselves and create separations.

We separate on age, on gender, on race, on economic status, on education level, on political affiliation, on religious affiliation; I could go on and on, and I imagine you could too.

And still, what we seem to desire most is to find a place where we are understood and accepted.  None of us can know what it is like to be someone else.

If I refer to an experience I had as a young, single mother, am I playing the young, single mother card?

If I sympathize with someone who is working full time during the day and going to school full time at night, am I playing the worked while getting an education card?

If I am outraged by the treatment of someone with Alzheimer's or another form of dementia, am I playing the child of two parents with dementia card?

Why does anyone allow such an empty and ugly phrase to be part of their vocabulary?

I appreciate that we all have a different perspective, and many issues are too complex for simple answers.

But when someone has sympathy, or empathy, or righteous indignation on behalf of someone that they share characteristics with, or who someone they love shares characteristics with, why are so many people so eager to find words that will minimize the legitimacy of their emotions?

Why don't we instead listen to their feelings?  Why don't we see their desire to be part of something bigger than themselves, whatever that larger group happens to be? Why don't we appreciate that the person's acceptance of another person's pain is a sign of great strength and empathy?

Empathy is only possible when you can see yourself in the other person's position.  Sympathy is easy.  Empathy is hard.

It is easiest to have empathy with those we have the most in common with .  It is easiest to feel the pain of others if we have experienced similar pain.

The more distance we can put between ourselves and others, the less vulnerable we are to their pain.  Think of how easy it is to move on to the next news story when you read of a natural disaster in a place you couldn't find on a map if you tried.  Then think how that changes if the natural disaster is in the place you live, or a place you lived or visited in the past.

I don't mean to encourage people to walk around bleeding as they embrace all the potential pain in the universe.  What I do encourage however, is to see that all of the struggling souls on this planet want to belong to something larger than themselves.

We may not always choose wisely which group to align ourselves with.  Some of us see our alignment with more groups than others do.

But using empty words to separate ourselves from others and to belittle the legitimacy of people's emotions doesn't move us in the direction of goodness.

Words have power.  I'm trying very hard to not fall into the trap of easy catch phrases that when analyzed are very hurtful.

The more we seek common ground, the more we seek to find empathy, the more forward progress we can make as an evolving society.

There are no cards to play.  There are just flawed individuals, trying to belong, trying to express empathy and solidarity with the best words and actions they can find.

And that should never be mocked, belittled or dismissed.