Everyday people

The biggest and most challenging adjustment for me as I have transitioned from an employee of The Dow Chemical Company to an independent author and blogger is the loss of everyday people.

When I talk about everyday people, I am referring to the people that you interact with on a daily basis.  Since I had converted to primarily working from home for the last four years of my career, my everyday people were voices and shared workspaces, but still, I had a number of everyday people.

The lack of everyday people creates a void that I haven't found a way to fill yet.  When you have everyday people, nothing is too small or too large to talk about.  You develop a comfort and a rhythm that is almost impossible to replicate with only occasional contact.

So I have become an initiator.  I call people.  I text people.  I email.  I blog.  But being an initiator is much harder when you have no everyday people.

At work, there was always a reason to initiate.  A project.  A deadline.  A question.

Now, if I'm not careful, I question initiation.  Are they busy?  Do they have time for me? Am I becoming a pain in the ass?

With everyday people, it is easy to say, "I'm really busy right now, can I call you back?" because you know you will talk to them later today or at least by tomorrow.

When you have no everyday people, and someone say's "I'm really busy right now, can I call you back?" it could be days or weeks.

The casual social interaction that precedes and closes every interaction is missed more than I thought it would be.

I'm still trying to figure out how to navigate my new world.  I think it is probably time for me to expand my volunteering efforts, but there is still so much work at home to be completed, that I feel obligated to finish that first.  But there is no catalyst to even start that work on many days.

It is easy to have a five minute conversation with everyday people.  When you have only occasional people, conversations tend to last for at least a half hour.  And then when the conversation is over, you remember everything you forgot to say.

If I lived in the same geography as my family, there would be more everyday people, or if I had different neighbors, maybe there would be more everyday people.

I think I lived in the work world for so many years so completely, I forgot how to have casual relationships not based on something, even something as superficial as work.

I'm not active enough in church to have everyday people there.  I'm afraid there would be too little common ground anyway.

When I attend a lot of road races, my walking and running friends become everyday people, but there seem to be large gaps between events sometimes, and the everydayness fades.

I was hoping this blog would help me create a virtual world of everyday people, so far, not so much.  Maybe that is the incentive to really get my books published.  Maybe that will introduce me to the everyday people that I'm missing so much right now.

I'll figure it out.  But for now, if you have everyday people in your world, even if they are currently getting on your last nerve, appreciate them.

They take you out of yourself.  They expand your worldview.  They entertain.

Many everyday people will pass through your life that never become your friends.  Some of them will fade from your memory when they are no longer part of your everyday life.

But trust me on this, they are bringing more value to you than you know.

Celebrate your everyday people.  Gift them with your time and attention.  Share your smile.  I promise, you will miss them when they are gone.