Not feeling well

I haven't written a post for a couple of days because I've got a cold and am not feeling well.  I've been blessed to be a mostly healthy person for most of my life, so I don't do well when I'm sick because I haven't had much practice.

That got me to thinking about what it must be like for people with chronic illnesses that make them feel bad on a regular basis.  It must be so very hard.

Regularly on social media I see posts referring to illnesses that you can't see, arthritis, migraines, depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, etc., and asking that the posts be shared to raise awareness.  I'm not a fan of sharing those posts, because I think they become more invisible instead of more visible with that type of mindless sharing.

I think instead that we need to talk more about how it feels to have an invisible illness.

I watched a video this morning of a woman describing the impacts of disability and poverty in her life.  Hearing her voice break, seeing her tears and her struggle for control as she described the ordeal, had real emotional impact.

It is hard for an internet meme to have real emotional impact.

I worry that as we depend more and more on digital media to communicate, we understand and appreciate each other less and less.

You can't read this post and know my head hurts, but if we were talking, you would hear it in my voice.

You can't read this post and see my nose and eyes are red, or hear the rasp in my voice.

I am invisible behind my words, unless I choose to open the door and show you more.

And the ability to keep that door closed and not show our true selves is the easy way out.

I don't like to share the sadness or the darkness or the misfortune in my life, but I'm kind of transparent when you see me in person, so you would know right away something is off.

Digital media allows me to pretend all is well when all is not well.  It is easier to be a persona instead of a person.

I struggle when all I have to say in a blog post is negative, or sad, or introspective.  I want my digital stamp on the world to be positive.

But if all I share is the good stuff, then I am giving my readers an incomplete persona, and I want the genuine me to be who I share in this blog.

So, I'm not a lot of fun to be with today.  I'm not good at being sick, so I'm kind of grumpy.   I don't have much energy, so I am not accomplishing as much as I would like to, making me more grumpy.

What is happening though is I am so much more impressed with my friends out there who struggle with invisible illnesses and still do great things and make a positive impact.

I've often heard and read that everyone is struggling with something so be kinder than you need to be.

Today is teaching me that I really need to take that to heart.  Because sooner or later we all have a turn to struggle.  And the more positive karma we have put in the universe leading up to that day, the more will be available for us to tap into when we need it.