All the anger

It is disturbing to me to observe the amount of anger that is prevalent in society.  Maybe it was always there, and maybe social media just gave the anger a place to manifest.  But it disturbs me.

I read daily posts that indicate many people have become mired in cynicism and anger.   Post anything positive about a person or group, and inevitably, someone will call the story false, because that person or group is no good, is lying, is unworthy of praise.

And the tone of voice is alway angry.  How do people get that way?

I have my angry days like everyone else.  I try to keep to myself on those days, because mostly, anger is an emotion that causes harm, rather than add to the good.

Anger is exhausting.  I can't imagine the energy it takes to be as angry as many people seem to stay.  And then I wonder, what emotions get pushed out of the way to make room for the anger?

I believe that the first emotion that gets pushed aside to make room for anger is hope.  And next is joy.  And then the ability to see the humor.  And that is a shame, because hope, joy and the ability to see the humor are great tools in the making of a happy life.

If you are angry, I'm sure that your anger is legitimate, because all emotions are legitimate.   I would never tell you that you shouldn't be angry, or that you are wrong to be angry, but I would respectfully ask, what is your anger doing for you that is good?

It is important to understand where your anger is coming from.  Are you angry because you are hurting?  Are you angry because you feel you have been disregarded?  Are you angry because you feel wrong has been done to someone who did not deserve it?  Are you angry because your default when things go differently than you would have liked is to get angry?

Everyone who regularly reads this blog knows I believe we train our brains to have a certain response by responding in the same way time after time.  If your default emotion is anger when things don't go the way you imagined, or people don't act the way you want them to, then the connections in your brain to an angry response get stronger.

I was listening to an interview the other day, and the interviewer said to the interviewee, "People say horrible things about you all the time, doesn't that make you angry?"  And the interviewee responded, "Sure, I get angry sometimes, I'm human.  But then I look for a better response.  Is there something funny in what was said?  Is there something real that I should work on?  I try to let the anger go, because it doesn't do anything for me."

I support that ideology.  I don't think anger does anything for anyone.  Anger is not a logical thoughtful response.  The best answers don't come from anger.

Anger can be turned to resolution to work to change that which makes you angry.  Working for positive change is a great way to channel your anger.  But to work for positive change you have to have hope that change can happen.  And anger can steal your hope.

Anger can be turned to compassion, as sometimes what has made us angry comes from a place of hurt in the other person.   By letting go of anger, and seeking to understand, perhaps two lives can be improved.

Angry people have a hard time having productive dialogue.  If you can let the anger go, channel it into a real desire to make things better, than the dialogue can start for real and lasting change.

Anger is a beast that will steal all the color from your world if you let it.   I prefer to not feed the beast.