Anger is never a good answer

Anger is never a good answer.  I know that.  But sometimes, I can't help but get outrageously angry.  It happened to me this morning.

I'm going to admit at the outset that many reading this will have no empathy for how angry I am.  That's OK.  I wish I weren't this angry too.

I noticed that when I am angry, I am not myself.  I am mean.   I am derisive.  That is not good for me or for the planet.

I become obsessed with wanting to right the wrong that has made me angry.  I'm not queen of universe, I don't have that power.

I want bad things to happen to the people that made me angry.  Also a very bad thing.  I REALLY don't want to bring bad karma into the universe.

You may be wondering what made me so angry.  Again, I expect many of you to shake your heads in bewilderment, but here it is.

The event that provoked such anger in me was the callous and inappropriate discussion of Miss Colorado, Kelley Johnson's talent performance at the Miss America pageant by the panel on "The View". And when the outcry against their dialogue was brought to their attention, instead of an apology, they came out with a "you misunderstood".

Why am I so angry? I think first and foremost, I am angry because nurses are incredible amazing gifts to all of us. Anyone who has ever had surgery, who has held vigil by the bedside of a dying loved one, who has had a child, should know that.

I'm not going to pretend that all nurses are perfect.  I know that no one is perfect.  But right now, a nurse is working her butt off to care for a patient he or she never met until they showed up needing care.   Nurses are going their entire shift without a break, because their patients need them.   Nurses are consoling grieving family members, holding sick patients hands, maintaining people's dignity when they have lost the ability to control their bladder and bowels.

Nurses are exposing themselves to real physical dangers to care for us.  Infectious disease control is an imperfect science.   Nurse to patient ratios are at all time highs, and few health care establishments have adequate lift assist devices or staff to move patients.  So most nurses end up with back and/or shoulder injuries from the physical demands of patient care. Nurses sacrifice themselves for us.   Nurses sacrifice for people that they don't know and love to an extent that many will never sacrifice for the people they do know and love.

So, that profound admiration and respect for nurses is where some of the anger comes from.

The other part of the anger comes from making fun of what I believe was a courageous choice.  It has been a goal of the Miss America organization to empower women through scholarships for education.

Instead of twirling batons, or singing, or playing music, or dancing, Miss Colorado had the courage to showcase a talent that the world desperately needs.   The talent to eloquently recognize a noble and necessary profession and all the amazing individuals who call that profession their own.  A profession that requires completing a difficult course of study, and passing a certification exam.   A profession that has always been part of STEM (science, technology, engineering and math) but rarely recognized as such.

And that was mocked and ridiculed.  Mocking and ridiculing someone who has the courage to challenge the status quo, to be different, is not OK in my world view.

Mockery and ridicule bring bad karma and hurt feelings into the universe.   Noticing humor is one thing.  Trying to create humor at someone else's expense is quite another.

My anger has cooled as I have tried to articulate it.  I pray that the women on The View come to realize just what a terrible thing they did, and how their non-apology exacerbated their actions.  The pandering "We love nurses" was a pitiful excuse for deplorable behavior.

I hope everyone reading this takes the time to think about the positive impact a nurse or many nurses have had on your life.

And I hope you all maintain the courage to be different, to challenge the status quo, even though the small minded among us may mock and insult you for it.

Humor that hurts someone is not funny.  Bring good karma.  Build people up.  Speak loudly in defense of goodness.  There will always be those who bring harm and hate through their actions.  

Those of us who want a more loving world must be relentless in our rejection of meanness.