One of the most sacred illusions we humans cherish is the illusion of control. We like to imagine ourselves as the one steering the ship of our lives. Unfortunately, this illusion can cause us to feel sad and disappointed, when we believe a different outcome was available if only we would have done something differently.
Hopefully, everyone reading this post has learned to control their own behavior most of the time. That is typically all the control you will ever get.
One of the biggest, scariest acknowledgements of how little control I have happened when the large, international company I had worked for for 17 years was acquired and merged into another company.
The smaller company I had worked for previously had changed owners four times, but the impact to me had always been minimal. Different insurance carrier, different rules for payroll direct deposit, slight changes in scheduled paid holidays; seriously minor changes.
With the larger company being acquired, I knew the changes would be major. Then came Day 1. The instruction was to keep doing what you are doing until someone tells you to stop. What followed is something I have told many people, you will get through, but you will never get over.
What followed was work that I had done and was proud of being discarded for what I thought many times was an inferior product.
I watched trusted friends and colleagues be released from employment in a very demeaning fashion (escorted out of the facility by security as if they had done something wrong, instead of just not fitting one of the reduced number of employment opportunities available).
I saw what I believed to be very good policies and programs replaced with what I believed to be less effective programs.
In short, I saw my normal disappear.
It was hard. I went through a grieving process. I grew into a better person.
My illusion of control was gone. The loss of that illusion freed me to focus on what is important, focusing on what my talents and behavior can do to improve the lives of those I can influence.
We will all experience moments of great change. We will all be captives to changes we didn't choose, and we didn't ask for.
No one can change that. What you can change is how you respond. Do an honest and realistic self-assessment of what you want your legacy to be. How do you want people to remember you? Do an honest and realistic self-assessment of what your talents and skills are. How can you improve the lives of those you touch with your talents and skills?
By focusing on what you can control, on your contribution to others, not to a corporate entity, you can experience a level of self-determination that is far more satisfying than clinging to the illusion of control.
In the final analysis, the almost 14 years I spent with the company after the merger were the best years of my professional life. I was given the opportunity to preach my gospel of a workplace where no one ever gets seriously injured or dies to thousands of people. I was blessed to have some of those people tell me that I influenced them to practice safer behaviors. It is arguable that I would never had the same level of opportunity with the original company.
Stay your personal course. Know what is important and meaningful to you, and stay true to accomplishing your goals.
Control is an illusion. Seek thoughtful self-determination. When you are sure of where you are going, it becomes easy to lead.
As a minor control freak (:)), I can relate to some of the things you are saying. While I went through the same merger as you, I went through it from a different perspective -- as I was in the larger company you were being merged into . . . and I can only imagine and read your words on how that must have been for you and everyone else. And as you said, you saw your 'normal' disappear . . . but for those of us in the larger company who received you (specifically), we are better people for having known you and worked with you. And I thank you for being my new normal :)
ReplyDelete