Yesterday as I was walking with my husband, we decided to spend some of our time walking in our neighborhood. As we walked, I started to think about the people that live in the houses we pass. We were about a half mile away from our house, and don't know any of the people living in the houses we were passing.
I started to wonder if they were happy homes, or homes filled with sorrow. I wondered what kind of work the people living in that house did, and if they were healthy and fit. I wondered if the people in the house were a family, or if someone lived there alone.
I wondered if anyone in one of those houses was lonely, or hurting, or feeling lost. I wondered if anyone had just had something wonderful happen, like a new job, or a promotion, or a graduation, or falling in love, or a new child or grandchild.
Metairie, LA, where I live, has a population of around 139,000. I know very few of those residents personally. There are a lot of people I see on a regular basis, that I don't actually know.
People I go to church with, people who exercise on the levee, people who go to local road races, people who go to local car shows, the cashiers and shelf stockers and managers at the local grocery stores, the wait staff at the local restaurants, the neighbors that I know their names, and say "hi" to, but I don't really know.
To be honest, as a matter of course, I don't give all those people a lot of thought. I appreciate how friendly some of them are, but I don't think about whether or not they are happy or sad, if they are living the life they choose or just surviving the life they are stuck in, or somewhere in between.
I had lunch with a good friend on Friday, and she and I talked about all the universes that people live in that have very little intersect with the universes that other people live in.
We got there talking about running and walking and cycling and having a dedication to fitness as a lifestyle. We were discussing how many people who do not pursue fitness think that runners and walkers and bicyclists are strange or weird. We talked about how people who don't live in your universe can be very derogatory about the things you see as good ways to spend your time.
The different universes conversation was reinforced on Sunday, when my husband and I were watching a young man set up a course with orange cones and poles and an arch in the park near the marina. As we continued to watch, he brought out a drone which had to follow the course he had created, including circling the poles, and flying under the arch. A whole other universe I know nothing about.
We then talked about frisbee golf, and the International Rock, Paper, Scissors championships, International Scrabble tournaments, Chess tournaments, and on and on. We kept ourselves entertained for a couple of miles trying to think of universes we know nothing about.
So, where am I going with this?
There is so much to know and understand and wonder about that is not contentious. Actually asking about someone with interest, learning about what makes them happy or sad, what they like to do with their time, what is important to them is incredibly enriching.
I may never want to play Bridge, or kite sail, or show dogs, or participate in rodeo (just a few of the things we came up with on Sunday) but it is fun to learn about those things from someone who enjoys those things.
And you can spend hours of conversation just asking and listening and learning and building a relationship, even if it is improbable you will ever see that person again.
There is always more to know, and wonder about, and learn about. There are always subjects to be discussed and questions to be asked that are not harmful or threatening.
Try as hard as you can to open your eyes, your heart and your mind to those universes you know nothing about. Try to have conversations with people you don't know that focus on learning about them, just because they are humans who deserve your attention.
We can make this a better world; one open, interested, concerned conversation at a time.
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