Affirmation

This past Sunday at Mass, the gospel was the parable of the Prodigal Son.  This gospel is always problematic for me.  For those unfamiliar with the parable, here is the condensed version.

There is a rich man with two sons.  The younger son asks for his share of his inheritance, and takes it and squanders it.  When he has nothing left, he decides to go and ask his father for a servant's job so that he doesn't starve to death.  The father is delighted to have his son back, and has a big celebration.  The older son who has done everything to be a good son is hurt that his father throws a big party for the son who squandered his inheritance, when the father has never even given him the opportunity to throw a party for his friends.  The father tries to explain by saying that his son was lost, and is now found.  While everything the father has now belongs to the older son.

Now as to why this gospel is a problem for me.  I can understand everyone's feelings.  I feel bad for the older son, who feels unappreciated when all he has ever done is what is asked and expected of him.  I feel bad for the younger son, who didn't expect to be welcomed as a son, but just wanted to not starve to death.  And I feel bad for the father, because in his joy at the return of his lost son, he didn't realize he might unintentionally hurt his older son.

I get how the parable is a metaphor for a forgiving God who is always looking for His children to return to him.  But as a human, it makes me think about the complexities of the parent, child and sibling relationships.

As I sat in church on Sunday, I started thinking about my move to Louisiana thirty years ago.  My decision to move to Louisiana hurt both my mother and my daughter.  I was in a very difficult financial and emotional situation in New Jersey, and I had been praying and praying for a solution.  When the job in Louisiana was offered at a much better salary than I was making in New Jersey, I felt it was the answer to a prayer.

But on Sunday I started worrying if perhaps it had been a selfish decision.  If I would have been better off staying near family.  There is no way to know how my life or my daughter's life would have turned out if I has stayed, and I think we are both in a good place now, but the doubts started to eat at me as I sat in church.  I worried that when all is said and done, and I meet my maker, I would be called to task for making decisions in life that were more about what was good for me than what was good for others.

Those of you who read my blog regularly know that I love it here in the greater New Orleans metropolitan area.  I feel like this is where I belong.   So, as I was wondering about my choices, and wondering if I had listened to God's voice in my life or to my own selfishness, I noticed something.  At least six out of ten people in Mass were wearing New Orleans Saints clothing.  Shirts with fleur de lis, logo apparel, football jerseys.

And I knew I was among my people.  That I was exactly where I was supposed to be.  That this community, this magical city, was meant to be my home.

I felt like God had opened my eyes to see that I am where He meant me to be.

Life is full of decisions.  Most of them small, but some of them huge.  The huge decisions are hard to not second guess.

I have a very good life.  I feel guilty sometimes because my life is so good.  When I feel guilty, I wonder if I should have made different decisions somewhere along the way so that someone else would have a better life, and mine would be less good.

And that my friends is crazy thinking.  We all owe it to ourselves to fashion the very best life for ourselves that we can.  If we are parents we must think of our children, but if we are falling apart and unable to cope we are not going to be effective parents.

As children, we are required to love and respect our parents, but it is our job to make our own way in the world, even when it doesn't align with our parents view of our path.

When we are happy and living the life we were meant to live, we have the capability to lift others up, to share our good will, and to be a positive force for good.

Life does not always go according to plan.  There are heartaches and heartbreaks in every life.  There is adversity to overcome.  But through it all one thing remains.  Opportunity.

Every day offers the opportunity to be grateful for the life you have had so far.  Every day offers the opportunity to change things if life is not what you want it to be.  Every day offers the opportunity to second guess the choices that have led you to where you are.  Every day offers the opportunity to accept you are exactly where you are meant to be.

Life can never be all good.  The best times in our lives often set up the worst times, when we lose the people we shared our best times with.

So celebrate every chance you get.  Celebrate what makes you happy.  Celebrate the people that you love and have loved.  Try not to second guess.  You are where you are.  You made the best decisions you could at each juncture to get where you are.  If you need to change something to be happy, figure out what it is and how to make that change.

And remind yourself on a regular basis that you are a positive force for good.  And then be that force.