It seems that everyone has an opinion on everything, and a lot of people need to share those opinions on social media.
I've been noticing lately that no matter what happens, there are people complaining about it, and people celebrating it.
Every act by a person in the public eye is simultaneously a great act by a great person and a terrible act by a terrible person.
And what all this has convinced me is that the only person you should try to keep happy is yourself.
There is just too much difference of opinion in the world to try to please people.
I'm not in any way advocating a lack of order or decorum. I'm not advocating breaking rules of society. What I'm advocating is listening to your inner voice, and staying true to what you believe in, even if others ridicule or mock you for it.
A friend shared a story on Facebook the other day about going into a doughnut shop with her son, and having a table of men in their 60's and 70's point at her and make disparaging comments. She took the opportunity to counsel her son to not grow up to be one of "those guys".
"Those guys" can be women too. They are the people who for reasons known only to themselves feel that they have the right to not just sit in judgement of all of us, but to comment, gesture, and ridicule.
"Those guys" have hurt my feelings, made me angry, made me sad, and disillusioned me. And then I decided "those guys" had no power over me, because I pity them.
With so much in the world to look at and learn about and celebrate, "those guys" instead prefer to concentrate on what they find lacking in others. What a dark and sad world "those guys"live in.
Taking the power away from "those guys" takes work, but it is well worth it. Whoever you are, whatever you do, whatever you look like or dress like, whoever you hang out with, whatever kind of politics you embrace, own it. Make your choices for you and be proud of the choices you make.
Think about who you are and who you want to be. Choose the look that most closely aligns with how you want to look. Be your unique and wonderful self.
"Those guys" will always be out there. Missing on the tremendous beauty in the world because they are focused on what is wrong with everyone but themselves.
Focus instead on the incredible creation that is you. Be truly who you are meant to be. Celebrate the unique gifts you bring to the world.
And take the time to build others up. Comment positively to the people you see and interact with. Love your neighbor. A simple "What a beautiful smile" "Love your hair" "Great nails" "That dress is gorgeous" "Love your laugh" "The shoes are awesome" can turn someone's day around.
Life is hard enough without making it harder. Be true to yourself, and be kind to others. If enough of us practice this discipline, "those guys" will fade in importance to the place they belong.
Which is when no one cares anymore about what "those guys" are criticizing. And maybe then they will stop wanting to be "those guys" and learn to live appreciatively in this beautiful world of ours.
It really is getting ugly . . . you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. It feels like a person can hardly make a move, speak a word and then there are 52 billion people getting all up in their face because we have this thing called social media. And in the good old days, this did not happen because whatever was said or done was usually only said or done with whomever was present at the time. Don't get me wrong . . . I do enjoy and use social media because I can keep up with the grandkids, the grand animals and the happy things that people I care about do when they are far from me. But, sadly, the social media feeds have become so filled with nasty crap, that I have actually started 'unfollowing' (but not unfriending) some people simply because I don't want or need that kind of negativity or hate-mongering polluting my feed. I totally agree with what you say about being true to yourself, but it is really getting hard to be that person in the public arena. I think it takes a really strong, reasonable, open-minded person to put themselves out there as their unique self and be able to withstand the shit storm that may occur.
ReplyDeleteI hear you - I have had to unfollow people as well to keep the ugliness level reasonable. I try to be myself all the time, but I don't put my opinions up out there except in very select company. I miss the days when going out to an event didn't come with the fear that there would be some kind of opinionated ugliness as part of the experience. Trying hard to be the good I want to see in the world.........
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