Once again I have become aware of how damaging careless words can be. Life is hard. There are problems that are unsolvable. There are pressures to perform. There are deadlines to be met. Often, we feel pressured to respond quickly to a situation with a voice mail or email.
Let me offer a very important piece of advice. If you don't have time to carefully craft your message so as to do no harm, to create no unintended consequences, you don't have time. Let it wait.
I know this is counter to all the influences currently in society, where we "tweet" or "instagram" or "post" or "text" or email without thinking. Where every day there is a story about a tweet or instagram or post or text gone viral for all the wrong reasons.
Do you really want to star in a story where you created hurt or chaos or disappointment or made someone feel less than simply because you didn't take the time to consider the impact your words could have?
We all speak carelessly at times, and that is damaging enough. But when words take form on paper or on a computer screen or a smartphone, they gain power. They gain import. And the ability for those words to cause harm grows exponentially.
I still believe that most people are basically good, and do not want to inflict harm or pain on others. I think that most of us, when we hurt someone, feel genuinely bad that we were careless with someone's feelings. And so often, if we just stopped and thought, if we re-read, if we reworded, we could prevent the hurt and the pain.
When I am old (and I'm closer than I used to be so I kind of do this already), I won't remember every work crisis, or homework drama, or burnt meal, or forgotten errand. Life has too much minutiae to remember all the details. But unfortunately, I will remember the times I was rushed and carelessly hurt someone, and I will remember the times when others hurt me.
I'll remember plenty of good times, don't get me wrong. But it is hard to forget pain. There are neurologists and psychologists and physiologists that theorize remembering pain and painful experiences is necessary for survival, and that makes perfect sense. The theorize that painful memories are stored in multiple places in the brain, so that they are remarkably easy to retrieve.
The good memories take more work to retrieve, they are not so conveniently stored in so many places. Why make more painful memories, when all it may take to prevent them is a little time and consideration?
When you write, it can help to read what you have written aloud, allowing the words to take form as sound can clarify what they may sound like to the person reading them.
Think about the reader. What emotions are they bringing to what you are writing? Will you reinforce negative emotions with your word choices, or soothe and comfort?
Words matter. Feelings matter. People matter.
For most of us, the work that we do is fleeting. It feels important in the moment. But unless you are a doctor, or a fireman, or a police officer, or an emergency responder, or a judge, you rarely are holding a life in your hands. (And I am totally not talking about artists, whose work is immortal, but who are usually careful and deliberate in their art.)
You are most likely part of a team who checks and balances each other, you can have moments of significant contribution, your work is important at this time, but it will fade away as things change and the world and the workplace evolve.
What will not fade away is the impact you make on others. What is never fleeting is the good you do, the joy you bring, the way you build others up and help them see their value.
Please use your words carefully so that the impact you leave is positive and uplifting. Because I believe it matters to you that you leave the world better than you found it. And if you use your life and your words carefully and with deliberation, you will make the world a better place.
No comments:
Post a Comment