Life Eraser

I have always been astounded by the people I know that appear to have been given a life eraser at birth.  I'm sure you know one of these people.  They do all sorts of things that most of us would never do, and then they take out their life eraser, reinvent themselves, and go on as if they had never done those things.

People of all walks of life seem to have life erasers.  And they don't just work on your own life, you can erase history with them too.  Don't like the fact that institutional racism exists?  Erase it!  Don't like the fact that women earn less than men in the same job?  Erase it!

It seems to be a politician, you have to have a life eraser.  How many politicians have been caught using their life eraser by the existence of video evidence?

I've always or never been a supporter of "x".  Then out comes the video.  That video evidence can really mess with your life eraser.

But ordinary people have them too.

Just about every wild child who becomes a parent immediately takes out their life eraser.  "I never cut classes."  "I never talked back to my parents."  "I never came in after curfew."  "I never smoked pot." "I never drank and drove a car."  The list goes on and on.

I had my child so young there was no opportunity for a life eraser in many cases, because my daughter was witness to the sorts of things most people use their life eraser for. And children have good memories.  And they share information without filters.  So, the embarrassing moments become public very quickly.

People use life erasers at work too.  Gossip behind a peer's back and try to sabotage their work, peer gets promoted.  Out comes the life eraser.  "I've always been in your corner, telling people how great you are."

What compels people to resort to the life eraser rather than just admit they have been a screw up in the past?  Why is it so uncomfortable to tell people that you were unkind to them, even if they didn't know it, and apologize?  Why do we want our mistakes and embarrassments to disappear, instead of sharing them to open up our humanity and vulnerability?  Is being human so scary that sanitizing our lives feels like a safer course?

Real relationships demand sharing real emotions and life experiences.  If we want to enjoy the comfort of deep and lasting relationships, we have to allow ourselves to be vulnerable.  Our mistakes, our embarrassments, our inappropriate behaviors are all outward signs of our vulnerability.  Letting our true selves be seen in all of their imperfection gives others the permission to be imperfect as well.

A life eraser may make things more comfortable in the short term, but a life acknowledged, with all its brokenness, mistakes and heartache, is a life that is open for sharing.

I may have moments where I wish I had a life eraser to remove some of the many less than who I want to be moments my life has contained.  But without those moments, I may have missed some valuable lessons.  I might be less compassionate.  I might be more certain that I am better than someone else.

But because I don't have a life eraser, I know I am just one more flawed and broken human being, trying my best to do my best, and to atone for the times in my past when I was not who I want to be.

And that makes me wide open to you in all of your brokenness.

And I wouldn't trade that for all the life erasers in the world.