Gender based/gender biased thinking

I grew up in a world full of gender bias, even though I didn't know it.  Because I liked to play outside and be physically active, I was labeled a "tomboy".  That was fine with me at the time, but the older I get, the more sensitized I have become to how much we limit ourselves and others with gender-based/gender-biased labeling.

And as I share these thoughts, I can't help but think about the non-conforming to gender bias role models I had growing up.  My Aunt Genny was a rock star carpenter and woodworker.  My Dad was a great cook, and the nurturing parent in our household, Mom was the disciplinarian.  My Grandmother, Sophie, was "Rosie the Riveter" working as a drill press and punch press operator in a munitions factory during World War II.

My Aunt Dot was a great athlete, excelling at softball and basketball, and my Uncle Bill was a master tailor (he could sew and alter clothes like no other).

In spite of this, I still grew up using, and occasionally still use language that is just down right intellectually lazy when trying to describe things.  Why do we say things like "Man Up" when we actually mean "display the courage to do the right thing"?  Why do we use expressions like "girly-girl" or "manly-man"?

The English language has so many words to choose from, it would seem that we could deploy the language better and more accurately.  Why not "She really enjoys dressing up with lots of frills and bows", or "He really enjoys strength sports, like weightlifting", instead of silly labels.

I realize labels are easy.  But they are also limiting.  And they can be downright insulting.

Yes, I liked physical play and high activity as a child, and still do.  I also liked to get dressed up, and still do.  I also liked to cook and crochet and still do.  I can cry at the opening credits of a sad movie, or be the incredibly stoic individual that holds up the family in a crisis.  I am not defined by my gender.  I am a complex person who has a variety of interests. And in all probability, so are you.

So few of us embody a gender archetype, it seems ridiculous that we are still hanging on to them.  Strength and stoicism are not masculine.  Tenderness and nurturing are not feminine.  When we let go of those artificial relationships, we are enabled to allow people to fully express who they are without fear of rejection for non-conformance to stereotype.

We're all humans with multiple characteristics, with likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses.  Let's all try to use the English language kindly and accurately to describe what we like and don't like, what characteristics we want to possess, and those we want to rid ourselves of.

Labels limit.  Honest conversations make us free.  Free from stereotypes, free from unfounded expectations, free from preconceived notions based on appearance.

There are so many amazing, wonderful, complex individuals in my world that defy convention and labeling.  I cherish them.  And because of them, I will try to do better to use language purposefully and kindly to allow all the wonderful variations in humans to be celebrated and appreciated.