On April 29, 2015, I wrote a blog post titled "The cacophony of meanness". In that post I shared my fear that the intolerance and mean speak would increase exponentially with the United States 2016 Presidential election.
Holy Moly - was I ever right. And I hate that I was right. And the level of hatred that is common in speeches, on talk shows, on talk radio and on social media is very distressing to me.
Regular readers know that I am a big fan of a deliberate life. I am a believer in working to control your thoughts, as your thoughts become your actions, and your actions become your life.
So I would ask everyone reading this, please think about what you are saying, and posting, and doing.
It is perfectly normal to disagree with people, and to have a different point of view than they do. It is not normal to demonize anyone who does not agree with you.
If you are angry, dig deep in yourself to figure out why. This may be the most harsh thing I will ever post on this blog, but whatever you are, wherever you are, unless you are a child, no one will fix your life for you but you. Trust me, I know that sucks.
Millions of people find themselves in holes they didn't dig, in situations they didn't create. People are victims of crime, or involved in accidents, or victims of natural disasters, or suffer significant illnesses that make life incredibly hard. And sometimes the setbacks people suffer can't be overcome in their lifetime.
But being angry about where you are doesn't put you somewhere else. If you are in a situation that you can't stand to be in, figure out how to change it. No one is going to do that for you.
No matter what anyone tells you, finding someone to blame for what is wrong with your life serves no purpose. Figuring out what is systemically wrong and needs to be changed serves a purpose.
There is no them to be angry at. It is not a political party, or an ethnic group, or a religion, or a social class that is responsible for the things that are wrong in your life. It is either a problem with the system we live in, or a problem with the choices individuals have made.
I worked in incident investigation for over twenty years of my career. And I watched countless individuals believe that as soon as blame was placed, problems were solved. It never has, and never will work that way. If a system has a flaw that creates a problem, the problem will continue until the system is fixed.
The systemic racism, sexism, ageism, elitism that we are embroiled in today are all real, and they can all be changed. But they will never be changed by pointing fingers at each other and deciding who to blame.
One planet, one human race, one lifetime to do your best to make this planet and your life on it the best it can be.
Every moment spent hating, and being angry, and blaming someone, is a moment you can never get back to work on real and lasting solutions.
And if it is your choices that have put you in a place that makes you angry, make different choices. Your choices belong to you, own that, and change what you need to if indeed you have made yourself miserable.
The more of us that reject the blaming, reject the artificial divisions, the hate speak, the more opportunity we have to actually work on making the world a better place.
It is easy to allow anger and hate to win. But then we all lose.
Breathe deep, think deep. Find your purpose. Examine the systems for the problems that need to be corrected. Work on the systems. Peacefully. With calm fortitude.
I refuse to give in and join the angry mob. I believe all people have inherent dignity, and all people have the right to a decent life. I will not choose a group to hate and fear and blame. I will work hard to be the calm voice of reason, the person who wants to find common ground to work on.
I hope you will too.
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