Cleaning out

I retired from full time employment on December 31, 2014.  Well, that's the official day.  I actually finished filling out the paperwork in early January 2015.

Today, March 2, 2016, I finally started cleaning out my home office and files to turn the office into one of an author, not one of a Safety Professional.

What in the world took me so long?

I honestly think it took me this long to be emotionally ready to say goodbye to my old life and embrace my new one.

Make no mistake, I've been going through the motions.   I produce this blog.  I work on my novels and novella.  I crochet.  I let my professional certifications lapse.  But I've been somewhat stuck in time.

I don't know exactly what shifted, but this morning I woke up determined to clean stuff out, and remove the vestiges of my working self.  I think I really committed to the fact that I will work as an author, but no longer work in corporate America.

My next project is to donate my gently used business suits to Dress for Success.  I'll keep a few pieces, but I have so much stuff I'll never wear again it is ridiculous.

I feel lighter.  I feel good about moving on.  And it has me thinking about how everything has to be done in its own time.

I'm grateful my husband never nagged me to get on with cleaning out my office.  I'm grateful that I had the time to wait until I was ready to close that chapter and move on.

Honestly, I don't know what I was waiting for.  But I had attempted to clean things out before, and always stopped.  The very actions of cleaning out made me feel uncomfortable.  I just wasn't ready.

So, my advice to everyone reading this is, don't force yourself to do things you aren't ready to do, unless you absolutely have to.

Forcing yourself to process change before you are emotionally ready is exhausting, and distressing.  Allowing your mind to process the change at its own pace means that when you are ready, you embrace the change and are energized by it.

I understand that we don't always have the opportunity to process change in our own time, sometimes things happen to us that we have to adjust to.  But you can still allow yourself to do the minimum in processing until you are ready.

Life is hard enough without adding pressure to yourself that you don't need to add.  Change is a part of life.  We all adapt to and process change differently.   As much as you can, be gentle with yourself.  That will help you shore up your internal resources for those times when life smacks you right in the chest.

It is about the journey.  And allowing yourself to savor each step, no matter how bizarre the timetable may look to someone else is very self-affirming.

"To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3