The rest of the green bathrobe story

There is an important aspect of The Green Bathrobe story shared yesterday that might not be inherently obvious, so I thought it was important enough to talk about it today.

Had I gotten the baby blue bathrobe I coveted, I wouldn't have a story.   That bathrobe would have been one of many gifts I have received in my lifetime.  When we get what we want, it often does not differentiate itself in our memory.

My daughter and I moved 17 times before I married my current husband.   It takes effort to not lose track of things when you move that much.  The green bathrobe was symbolic, and treasured, so it made every move.  I may have kept the baby blue bathrobe (because I still would not have had the money to replace it), but it would have been just one more thing I owned.

What is the point?  When life is going well, when we get what we want or expect, it is kind of bland.  The great memories, the great stories, often come from the moments when we have a choice to make.   When the dichotomy between what we want and expect and what we are presented with is the greatest.

And, when presented with those moments where we can choose ourselves and our feelings or the feelings and well-being of another, those become pivotal moments in who we continue to be.

Each choice to preserve someone else's feelings, each choice to recognize the loving intent and not the less than perfect effect, strengthens the brain's patterns for that choice and increases the probability that you will continue to preserve others feelings, and see their loving intent.

The very existence of the green bathrobe, and the green bathrobe story, has allowed me to strengthen the pattern in my brain to see the intent and not the effect of loving actions.

So, I would ask that you think about the green bathrobes in your life.   Think about the times when you were disappointed, but chose to hide your disappointment so that someone else's joy would be preserved.

Create your own story around the time you chose preserving someone else's joy while sacrificing your wishes.  Tell that story to yourself, and to others facing disappointment and challenge.   Strengthen the pathways in your brain to see and appreciate loving intent.

So much conflict and hurt can be avoided if we train our brains to see the love instead of the disappointment or hurt.

We all end up living in the world we create.   Create a world where love is filter you see the world through.