Exit Strategy

I'm a planner.  I don't think I was born this way, but finding myself in situations that I didn't want to be in made me more and more of a planner.  Being a control freak, planning is one of my instruments of comfort.  Before I go to a party or an event, I've usually planned my exit.  To many people, that may sound strange, but for me, knowing that I am going to leave by a certain time, and take a certain route home allows me to relax and experience the now.

Exit strategies are more and less complex depending where I am and what I am doing.  One of the first things I do upon checking into a hotel room is to check the fire escape route.  How many doors between me and the stairs?  Do I turn right or left when leaving my room to reach the stairs?  This kind of planning can be life saving in an emergency situation.

Because I approach life this way, I am amazed at how many people never think about the next step, or the next natural decision.  I am amazed that people take a new job, or buy a new house, or a new car, without asking themselves, "What am I going to do if this doesn't work out?"  or put a different way, "What is my Plan B?"

Some people may think that it is a depressing way to approach life, always thinking about what you will do in a failure situation.  I think it is pragmatic.  There will be failures.  There will be unanticipated consequences.  There will be situations that you find yourself in that you need to get yourself out of.  Thinking through what could happen and making a plan for it is just practical in my book.

Fortunately for me, my husband is cut from the same cloth.  One memorable incident happened a number of years ago, when traveling home from West Virginia.  We realized before we got on the road that morning that we would be passing through Tuscaloosa, Alabama on the day that the Louisiana State University Tigers college football team would be playing the University of Alabama Crimson Tide football team.  There is an intense rivalry between these two teams, and as the distance between the two main campuses is less than 350 miles, there is always a huge traveling fan base for the game.

Our travel plans were going to have us going through Tuscaloosa on game day.  Not game time, but game day, so we knew there would be extraordinary traffic, and that many of the drivers would be more focused on the upcoming game than on their driving.

I can hear someone out there saying in their head right now if I was such a good planner I would have traveled on another day, or taken another route.

We had gone to West Virginia for my mother-in-laws birthday, had to get back to Louisiana for work, and the only alternate route added hundreds of miles, so the best we could do in this circumstance was heighten our awareness of what hazards may await us on our trip.

Back to the point.  As we were coming to the point on our trip where Interstate 459, the Birmingham, AL bypass, was rejoining Interstate 59, my husband slowed down and got into the far right, or slow lane.  And it was a very good thing that he did that.  As we came to the merge point, two pickup trucks tried to occupy the same space in the merge lane.  They hit, and one of the trucks ricocheted across the highway.  My husband was able to go onto the shoulder and into the grass on the side of the road to avoid being hit by the ricocheting truck.  We could hear the crashes behind us.  At the final count, it was an eighteen car pile-up on the Interstate, that kept the road closed for hours.

We could have been behind it, but we left so that we would be on the other side of Tuscaloosa by five hours before game time.  We could have been in it, but for luck, and planning to be hyper vigilant.  I believe we avoided that accident by planning, and thinking through what could go wrong, and being ready when it did.

As hard as I try, I can't avoid or have a plan for everything that may go wrong.  But by thinking about and planning for different possibilities, I can also practice my coping strategy for when things do go wrong.

In a large way, it is all about preserving my illusion of control.  But by thinking about the what if, even when things do go wrong, when unforeseen events occur, I am more confident of my ability to change course.

That is the best thing trying to always have a Plan B does for you.  Once you have found a Plan B hundreds to thousands of times, you realize there is always a Plan B.  Even if you can't figure it out right at the moment.

But knowing there is one, and you can find it, is sometimes all you have to hang on to in a bad situation.

So friends, as much as you can, please try practicing analyzing what can go wrong, and making a plan for what you will do when it does.  It can be as small as what if they don't have the ice cream I want at the grocery store, to as big as what will I do if I lose my job.  But thinking about it, and knowing you have a plan can be incredibly powerful.  And can give you something to hang on to when it feels like everything is falling apart.