Vision

A couple of posts ago, I talked about plans, and being a planner.

Dealing with the Unexpected

Plans are important to get us through the day, and to help cement a sense of achievement.  Plans are the tactical tool we use to create success in our lives.

Vision is what gives us and our lives purpose.  In corporate America, it became very vogue in the late 20th century for organizations to create and communicate both a vision and a mission statement.  While these statements often provided fodder for ridicule in the workplace, a personal vision statement, or declaration of who you are trying to be, can be very helpful and comforting.

Over the last few days, I have had numerous events derail my plans.  I'll be honest, that creates a lot of frustration for me.  The tool I use to cope with the disruption and frustration is my personal vision.

The thing about a personal vision is that it is PERSONAL.  It is all about you.  Your personal vision doesn't include your significant other, or your children or grandchildren, or your pets.  Having a personal vision doesn't make you selfish, it keeps you healthy.

Your personal vision is what allows you to look up from the chaos and disappointment and keep going.  It is the place you see yourself happy.  Your personal vision will grow and change as you grow and change.  You may never actualize many of your personal visions.  That is OK, it is still important to have them.

Your personal vision can be anything that takes you to your best self, that feeds your soul.  I love to write, so this blog is part of my personal vision.  I want a more loving and caring world, so I see myself as a change agent to make the world a better place.

To establish your personal vision, you have to reach deep inside yourself and examine what is important to you, what makes you happy, what feeds your soul.  Once you have finished your self examination, work on visualizing yourself as that person in that happy place feeling your soul full and refreshed.  The more you practice seeing and being in your personal vision, the easier it is to reach for that place and go back to it in the chaos.

None of us are in control of the universe.  Things happen that we don't expect and that we never wanted to have happen.  Plans get disrupted and changed.  The unique gift that is you is a once in a lifetime gift.

Imagine your best self.  Share the best of you with those around you.  Preserve your personal vision, because it will be your lifeline when life's waters get too rough.

On greed, trust and corruption

Thanks Nykee for the idea for this post.

"Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely."  Lord Acton

In our 24/7/365 news world, there seems to be endless stories of corruption, greed and malfeasance.   It can be easy to get discouraged and disillusioned, and to believe that there is no one that we can trust.

I tend to look at this another way.  I believe that greed is the origin of all that is not good in the world.  The desire to better oneself, to have more, is not a bad thing.  But when greed becomes the motivator, bad things usually follow.

Power seems to be a tremendous motivator for greed.  It seems as people or organizations gain power, they simply want more power.  Nothing is ever enough.  In the greedy pursuit of more power, all moral and ethical restraints seem to fall by the wayside.

Individuals or organizations possessed of this tremendous greed for more power cannot be trusted.  They have lost their moral and ethical compass.

So who, and what, can you trust?

What you can trust is you too are vulnerable to greed and corruption.  The best safeguard you have against allowing greed to corrupt you is your own self-awareness.

Many reading this may be shaking their heads now, thinking, "I have no power, this could never be me."

We all have power.  You have power over every individual that cares about you.  Do you recognize and respect this power?  Do you remind yourself that love is not a weapon to be used to get your own way?  Do you remind yourself that your power over those who love you carries a tremendous responsibility to think of the impact your actions will have on them?  Do you hold yourself accountable to the appearance of your actions and decisions, even if your intent is pure?  All change for the good starts at the individual level, be the change for good.

Who can you trust?  The circle of people any individual can trust absolutely will always be small.  Be pragmatic.  Trust very few people absolutely.  Evaluate others, and trust them according to their ability to live up to their commitments.  Allow that all of us are corruptible, and limit your absolute trust to those individuals that you can frankly discuss a breach of trust with to bring that conflict to resolution.

Business, government, and organized religion are not good entities for your trust.  They all wield too much power.   Look to those entities for what they do, not what you expect.  Hold them accountable when they do not meet expectations.  Work to shine a light on corruption.  But don't become disillusioned or hurt by their actions.

"Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely."  Lord Acton

Stay vigilant.  Hold yourself accountable to wield your personal power responsibly and lovingly.  Never blindly follow a powerful entity.   Be a voice for optimism and truth.

When we allow ourselves to become disillusioned and give up, the forces against unprincipled power are diminished.  Don't let corruption win.  Be the change for good.

Dealing with the unexpected

I'm a planner.  I love a plan, and I love to execute plans.  On the last team I led, one of the team maxim's was "Go do is not a good job,"  because rushing into things without a plan can make a mess.

I think that the best results come from a good plan that is reviewed and revised.  That said, I'm not opposed to carefree impulsive times.  It is just if you want a specific result, I think your best chance of success is with a specific plan.

But what about when, in spite of all your planning, you get an unexpected result?  Does this necessarily mean you had a bad plan?

I'm going to refer back to my post on control.  For those new to this blog, here is link.

Control

There are and always will be forces in the universe that affect the outcomes we seek.  The essence of a life well lived is when your actions have good purpose, even if they do not yield the expected results in spite of your careful planning.

It may sound trite, but to be able to honestly self-evaluate after the unexpected happens, and to be able to say, "I thought about it, I made a good plan, I executed a good plan.  I did everything within my power to get the outcome I wanted.  This was just beyond my control." is incredibly comforting.

For many, the most difficult thing to live with is regret.  When you practice self-determination, when you plan and execute your plans, when you seek to have all of your actions bring good to those around you, you may experience disappointment, but you will seldom experience regret.

Life happens.  The unexpected occurs.  Control is an illusion.  The choices we make every day, however, become the life we live.  Live purposefully.  Make every day count.  Love abundantly.  The legacy we leave is not the result of our accomplishments, but rather the result of the good we bring to the lives we touch.  Each and every day.

Plan your legacy.  Live your plan.

Kindness

Glen Campbell wrote and performed a song that I think is an anthem for a better world.   It is titled "Let Me Be a Little Kinder".

What a great goal - to be kinder than necessary.  So often, we get caught up in the inside of our heads; with our endless "to-do" lists, our plans and dreams and our problems and challenges.  For some reason, for most people, it is easier to be judgmental than to be kind.

The thing is, everyone is carrying burdens you can't see.

The person who cut you off in traffic?  They were hurrying to the hospital, hoping to get there before their mother passes away.

The person in the grocery store who spoke sharply to the cashier?  Just found out they have terminal cancer.

The salesperson in the department store who seemed to care more about their phone call than your business?  They were talking to their best friend who was threatening to commit suicide.

It is easy to get annoyed when we think we have been disrespected in some way.  But we can learn to meet all challenges with kindness.

My fortune cookie at 17 years old, "It is better to not perceive an insult than to seek to avenge one".

Maybe the person who cut you off in traffic is just a jerk.  Does thinking about them that way do anything to improve you, your day, or the world?

But if you flip that occasion - "Dear Higher Power - please lighten the load of that distracted driver so that they don't cause an accident" you just put some good karma back in the universe.

If you regularly read my blog, you will notice a recurring theme.  You live in the world you notice and nurture.  By nature, I am a happy person.  I stay that way by feeding my happiness, by feeding goodwill.

There will always be people who are self-absorbed, self-serving, and unkind.  There will always be people who are actually more comfortable with hate than love.  You don't have to be one of those people.

The thing is, you probably can't change the people who chose hate anyway.  So by choosing kindness, by choosing compassion, you increase the level of goodwill and happiness in your world.  Make it a goal to surprise a smile or a laugh out of someone every day.

There are people carrying heavy burdens, your kind word could be the thing that makes their burden bearable today.  What a great gift!

Waking up in a brand new world

Things happen in life that are huge and unexpected.  Some of these things are wonderful, like getting a big promotion, or finding out you are having a baby, or grand-baby.  But a lot of the huge unexpected things are not wonderful, like accidents, or illness, or sudden death.

When a huge unexpected thing happens, there is a moment upon awakening, where it is possible to forget the huge life changer.  And then reality comes crashing in.  The world, as you knew it, is gone, and there is no getting it back.

Every one of us will have the moment, where we wish we could go back to sleep, and get yesterday's world back.  But we can't.  So what can we do?

First, every day you wake up in your same familiar world, give thanks.  Remember to be grateful for all the good in your life.  Look over the petty stuff that we can allow to consume our thoughts.  Love abundantly.

When you wake up in that brand new world, that you wish you could leave, don't isolate yourself.  Reach out to friends and family.  It can be incredibly painful to tell the truth that changed your world over and over again, or it can be cathartic.  If it is painful for you to share that truth, let someone else do it for you.  Let your friends tell your other friends.  If telling your truth is cathartic, tell everyone.

Accept your grief.  Cry as much and as long as you need to.  Allow the people that love you to help you.  Be angry if you need to, and find a safe outlet for your anger.  Surround yourself with the people who love you most, and who will forgive any crazy you act out while working through your grief.

Remember you are stronger than you know.  You will get through this.  You will never be the same.  That is OK, because the essence of who you are will not change.  There will be a depth to you that didn't exist before.  Your empathy and compassion will grow.

Life is a one-way ticket.  It is all about the journey.  As much as possible, surround yourself with people who love you and will support you when you wake up in that brand new world that you never wanted or expected.

I got this.........

Yesterday's post discussed what an error prone species humans are.  Today, I want to talk about another lowest common denominator of our species, overconfidence.

Confidence is a good thing.  It allows us to approach new challenges, to try new things and meet new people.

Overconfidence is a dangerous thing,  It allows us to take unacceptable risks, because we believe we have the capability to manage those risks.

Most people mistakenly believe that if they take a risk, and do not suffer an immediate negative consequence, it is because they "managed" the risk.  Let's use a concrete example.

A person exceeds the speed limit on the highway.  They don't have an accident, and they don't get a ticket.  So now they believe that they can "safely" speed.  Each successive time the individual exceeds the speed limit and does not suffer an immediate negative consequence, their confidence in their ability to speed successfully increases.  As long as there is no need to stop suddenly, this overconfident behavior can continue forever.

The problem with this is, physics are physics.  The distance it takes to stop a moving object is relational to the speed the object is traveling, and the weight of the object.

Here is the equation for total stopping distance:


(from Wikipedia)

If you can do this math in your head, correctly while driving, you confidently know how fast you can drive and still have time to stop.  Otherwise, overconfidence is in play.  Speed limits are established so that you don't have to do the math.   Yes, they are based on probabilities that may or may not be true at every given moment, but they are the best guideline available.

There is a great book titled "Fooled by Randomness" by Nassim Nicholas Taleb.  One of the great concepts that I took from the book is understanding whether you are creating success, or simply enjoying success.   Most of us take credit for our successes, believing that we did something to be successful.  Often, it is simply random.  So if you cannot concretely state what you did to achieve success, it may be accidental.

Success breeds overconfidence.  There are laws of the universe that a human can't mitigate.  Understand your limits.  Be confident, but recognize your limitations.  The consequences of overconfidence can be tremendous harm to you or others.  Try to analyze your successes so that you truly know the difference between creating success or enjoying success.  It could save your life.

On being human

One of the truths about being human is we are an error prone species.  Most of us make up to hundreds of no consequence errors every day.

For example, I go into my bedroom to get my cell phone off the nightstand to put in my purse.  I notice the laundry basket is full, so I pick it up, take it to the laundry room, sort it and start a load of laundry.  When I go back into the kitchen, I see my purse on the counter, and remember I forgot to get my cell phone.  I go back into the bedroom to get my cell phone, and this time I actually remember to pick it up.  When I get to the kitchen, the house phone rings, so I set my cell phone on the counter and answer the house phone.  After I talk to my sister, I grab my purse and head out to the car to go grocery shopping.  I look at my purse as I set it on the passenger seat and realize my cell phone is still on the kitchen counter.  I decide it will be OK to go to the store without my cell phone, so don't go back inside for it.  When I get home from the store, I finally put my phone in my purse.

How many errors did I make in that paragraph?  I forgot what I was doing twice.   I forgot that I forgot once.  These were basically no consequence errors.

But what about errors that have consequence?  One of the rules that I learned to live by as a safety professional is that if the consequence of an error is unacceptable, you need to put a safeguard in the system to prevent the consequence.  I'll use some familiar examples.

Most people have either fuses or circuit breakers in their homes so that if there is an electrical overload that could lead to a fire the fuse blows or the circuit breaker trips.

Most cars need to have the brake engaged to put the car in reverse or drive.

These are engineering controls to prevent high consequence error.

Everything can't have an engineered solution, so we as humans have to think about the consequences of error, and build in our own safeguards.

When I think about high consequence errors, I primarily think of errors that will cause someone to get hurt.  (I include pets as someones.)

My dogs are high energy, and smart, so I put them in their crates when I leave them alone at the house.  They are safer that way.

The dogs are also restrained in car seats when I drive with them, because they are very distracting if not restrained, and could distract me while driving, which could cause a high consequence error.

Every one of us has our own set of high consequence errors that can happen to us.  We need to proactively think about those and create our own safeguards.

We all make mistakes.  It is part of being human.

Next blog post will discuss over-confidence, another human trait, which leads to decisions that can have very negative consequences.