Things to be proud of

I read a Facebook conversation this morning about the difference between white pride and black pride.   The point of the original post was that white pride doesn't make sense, because "white" is an artificial construct, while black pride makes sense because the place identity of many African Americans was stolen from them when they were stolen from their homes and sold into slavery.

I embrace the idea of black pride being a product of history.  All of us like to belong, and for many, belonging is attached to origin.  People wear green on St. Patrick's Day and claim to be Irish, drink beer for Oktoberfest and claim to be German, celebrate Bastille Day and claim to be French.  If you can't know where your people came from, other than a continent, I get the idea of solidarity with the other people from that continent, and I understand that in the historical evolution of language in America, the time when the black pride movement originated predated the term African American and postdated the term negro.  So, sociologically, emotionally, and linguistically, black pride makes sense.

But now is when I throw a curve ball into the whole thing.  I understand the need to belong to something bigger than ourselves, but why do we try to belong to something based on the accident of our birth?

What is wrong with being proud of what we do, and how we act, and how we think, instead of being proud of the mix of DNA we were born with?

If you read this blog regularly, you know I had my DNA analyzed earlier this year.  I found out that in spite of being raised believing I was of German descent, and relatives having emigrated from Germany, I have no German DNA.  It looks like my relatives stopped in Germany on their way from Scandinavia to the United States.  This knowledge didn't change who I am in the least.

The knowledge that your DNA doesn't match your family stories might be more difficult for some people than it was for me.  Maybe because I never based my identity on my national heritage.  I'm one of those people who cries at the playing and singing of the United States National Anthem, but I'm not one of those people who bases my identity on being a citizen of the United States of America.  I was fortunate to be born here, into a family who had enough money that I always had a roof over my head and food in my stomach.  That is not a matter for pride, but a matter for gratitude.

I'm proud that in spite of getting pregnant in the tenth grade at fifteen years old, I persevered and got a Bachelor's degree in Business Information Systems in college.  I'm proud that once I decided on a career in Occupational Safety and Health, I pursued and achieved my Occupational Health and Safety Technician certification, and my Certified Safety Professional certification.

I'm also incredibly grateful that I was born with the physical and emotional strength, and the family support to achieve those goals.  Without my family's help and support, none of what I have achieved is possible. 

When I think about pride and being proud, without that pride becoming destructive, the pride is always tempered by the gratitude for the people who made the accomplishment I am proud of possible.

While our needing to belong to something bigger than ourselves is a powerful force, that need should never overwhelm our consideration of exactly what we are claiming to belong to.

Pride should be attached to accomplishments, not labels.  Being proud of being kind, being humble, being generous, being compassionate are all great.  To think that a person can say they are proud to be Christian or Jewish or Muslim and think that means something is delusional.  When I say or write Christian or Jewish or Muslim, each reader paints their own picture of what that means.  Those terms are too broad, and too influenced by too many factors.  While kindness and humility and generosity and compassion are also interpretive, they are far less ambiguous than religious categorization.

The same thing goes for nationalistic labels.  Why are you proud to be Irish or German or French or Nigerian or Kenyan or Egyptian?  Why not say you are proud to be hard-working, or punctual, or well-read, or well-prepared, or well-practiced or reliable?

I think if more people based their pride on what they do and how they act, rather than being proud of the group or groups they were born into, we could all find more common ground.  And if we stopped joining groups so that we could label ourselves as Christian or Jewish or Muslim or Republican or Democrat, and instead found pride in being and doing something, maybe we would see we are all more the same than different.

It does not make me angry if you want to be proud of the accident of your birth, or be proud of the group labels you have chosen to take shelter under.  I just hope that we can all start examining our beliefs and our behaviors, and seek to believe and behave in ways we can be proud of.