No time to be nice

I was listening to the news this morning, and there was a report that people feel they don't have time to be nice at work anymore.

Seriously?  No time to be nice?

How does being nice take time?  Now if you say that there is less time in your workday for socializing than there used to be, you probably have my sympathy.  Many jobs are now consolidated jobs, and there is often little to no down time during a work day.  But, if you are checking Twitter or Facebook or Instagram on your lunch break instead of talking with your co-workers and building relationships with them, you may be missing out on a great opportunity to make new friends and make work more enjoyable.

After almost forty years in the work world, I have a rich pool of experience to draw from on the many different workplace dynamics that can be encountered.

I did work in places where the people I worked with would never be my friends.  That did not excuse me from being nice to them, to inquiring about their well-being, and to volunteering to help them when they were challenged.

I am a strong believer that our mental health depends on having strong connections with others.  For some, making strong connections is very difficult, and takes a long time.  Just because it is difficult, that doesn't mean you should stop trying. Some of my closest family and best friends are introverts.  Most introverts are slow to make friendships, but the friendships they forge last forever.  In my world, these are some of the richest and most rewarding relationships I have, and they were absolutely worth the investment needed to create the relationships.

If you find that you think you don't have time to forge relationships at work, I think it is important to ask yourself why?  Do you not see common ground with the people you work with?  Is there a serious difference in world view that creates conflict?

If you truly have no common ground with the people you are working with, I would encourage you to seek employment elsewhere.  Being surrounded by people that you cannot find common ground with is exhausting.

If there is only one person you have common ground with, invest some time with that person.  The relationship with that person will make it easier to go to work and will make work more enjoyable.

If you think you have no time to forge relationships at work, even though you have much common ground, how are you spending your time that it prevents forming relationships?

If you are on track to be the CEO or COO of your company, go on with your solitary ways.  If however, you are just trying to make a living so that you can have a life, remember your life is the sum of the relationships you have, and the quality of those relationships.

Each workplace relationship I entered enriched me in some way.  I learned from each and every relationship.  The best way to become the best "you" you can be is to pay attention to the attitudes and behaviors of others, and reflect on the consequences of those attitudes and behaviors.  In most cases, polite interaction fosters polite interaction.  Caring behavior fosters caring behavior.

My favorite theme, we create the world we inhabit.  Treat people kindly, be compassionate, be gentle, and by and large you will be treated with gentle, kindly compassion.  And on the occasions your kindness is met with hostility, you can remain kind, knowing you have a core group of people that will soothe your hurt when you get back to them.

It doesn't take more time to be nice.  Be as nice to everyone as you possibly can.  If you think you have no time to forge relationships at work, examine why not.  If you truly have no common ground on which to build relationships, think about changing jobs.  Life is too short to live in isolation.  Relationships feed our souls and help us to thrive, both personally and professionally.  Never let your pursuit of income get in the way of your pursuit of life.