I've been struggling with whether or not I wanted to compose this post, but since it is consuming my thoughts, I guess it has to come out.
I think in my introductory post on this blog, I shared that I am Roman Catholic. If not, then now you know. I went to Catholic school for 10 years, my aunt was a Missionary nun. Really Catholic.
I love the rituals of the Catholic church, I love that I know when to sit, stand and kneel. I love the scripture. I love the music. I don't love the politicization of my church.
I still regularly attend mass, because I find worshiping God in community with others to be a very spiritually uplifting experience. I find many of the prayers of the mass beautiful and comforting.
In the last year, I started attending mass at a different parish, because the church I was attending had gotten too far away from the gospel, and too deep into politics.
I was really happy at first with my new church home. But, for the last two weeks, the sermons have been dangerously close to political.
I've been thinking and thinking about why I am so upset about this, and I finally think I get the root of my distress.
Sometimes it feels like Jesus message is too hard to deliver, so the message becomes about a political position rather than the teachings of Jesus.
I'm a real fan of Pope Francis, and I think he is on target with his emphasis on serving the poor and forgotten. When I read the gospels, that seems to be what Jesus was all about.
When I listen to a sermon that demonizes tolerance and chooses to focus on a singular political issue, that speaker is abdicating responsibility to challenge his affluent suburban population to give up some of their excess to make life easier for the less fortunate.
I know that I am guilty of having more than I need, just like many Americans. I try to be generous, but I'm skeptical of many charitable organizations actually giving my money to the needy, so I try to be judicious in my giving.
I'm VERY comfortable with my tax dollars helping the less fortunate. That is like a great big bonus for me, in that I can help the poor without having to do anything extra.
I hear many self-designated Christians speak very disparagingly about the poor. I see and hear poor-shaming every day. The Jesus I read in the gospel wouldn't do that.
I wish I could find a Catholic Church that was satisfied to preach on the gospel - to challenge me to "Love one another as I have loved you" and to "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone" and to remind me "The measure you use is the measure you will be given".
Until then, I'll keep going to the church in the neighborhood, and pray for the American church to listen to Pope Francis.
That is the essence of "The Barefoot Catholic". Because until we clothe and feed the least among us, we are all spiritually barefoot.
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Run that past your logic filter
I am continually amazed at the statements made and the people who believe them. PT Barnum said that there is a sucker born every minute, and while I object to the inherent meanness in that remark, there is a potent truth there.
The internet and social media have created an information deluge that can be difficult for anyone to sort through. But every day, I see people post things on Facebook as if they are true that simply defy logic.
I use snopes frequently when a story has enough of a ring of truth to bear follow up. But many of the stories don't even come close enough to sounding real to get checked.
There are many satirical web sites that offer fake news, for entertainment purposes. I can't believe how often I see these satirical stories posted as if they are genuine news stories, and see people who have always appeared to be reasonably intelligent commenting on them as if they are real news.
Please, do yourself a favor. Don't believe everything you read. Run everything past your logic filter.
What exactly is a logic filter? It is a device that anyone can train their brain to use. I'll use a simple example. Headline reads "New weight loss drug helps suburban housewife lose 100 lbs in two months with no change in diet or exercise." Seriously? So far, the only proven weight loss method is to take in less calories than you burn. 100 lbs is 350,000 calories. That equals a 5800 calorie a day deficit. So, if we use a 250 pound 5'5 inch woman, she can burn 2535 calories an hour running 12 mph. Do you have any idea how fast that is? 12 x 5 is 60. That is 5 minute miles. Let's say she can jog. 795 an hour. Crap. How many hours of jogging is that? About 7.5 hours. So a pill can replace 7.5 hours of jogging? Not logical.
(BTW - I have previously shared that I competitively racewalk. I get about 700 calories an hour for a competitive effort, about 300 an hour in training. So, when it comes to calories burned in exercise, individual results may vary.)
(This conversation totally ignores large doses of illegal amphetamines or cocaine. Those can produce amazing results up to and including death.)
Applying your logic filter will make you less likely to fall for a con artist. It will make you more thoughtful before making a decision. Applying your logic filter will help prevent embarrassing moments. It will prevent countless disappointments.
Like any other self-discipline, applying your logic filter is a skill that improves with use. Practice. Life is really a lot easier when you don't waste time, energy and emotion on things that will never be true.
Admittedly, I used a very simple example, and many of the illogical statements you hear will be less easy to disprove. Use math, use science, use history. Don't be an easy mark for the con artists. The more of us that run things past our logic filter and don't proliferate the bad information, the less bad information will be available to deceive the next person.
Help clean up the internet. Before you hit share, run the story past a logic filter.
The internet and social media have created an information deluge that can be difficult for anyone to sort through. But every day, I see people post things on Facebook as if they are true that simply defy logic.
I use snopes frequently when a story has enough of a ring of truth to bear follow up. But many of the stories don't even come close enough to sounding real to get checked.
There are many satirical web sites that offer fake news, for entertainment purposes. I can't believe how often I see these satirical stories posted as if they are genuine news stories, and see people who have always appeared to be reasonably intelligent commenting on them as if they are real news.
Please, do yourself a favor. Don't believe everything you read. Run everything past your logic filter.
What exactly is a logic filter? It is a device that anyone can train their brain to use. I'll use a simple example. Headline reads "New weight loss drug helps suburban housewife lose 100 lbs in two months with no change in diet or exercise." Seriously? So far, the only proven weight loss method is to take in less calories than you burn. 100 lbs is 350,000 calories. That equals a 5800 calorie a day deficit. So, if we use a 250 pound 5'5 inch woman, she can burn 2535 calories an hour running 12 mph. Do you have any idea how fast that is? 12 x 5 is 60. That is 5 minute miles. Let's say she can jog. 795 an hour. Crap. How many hours of jogging is that? About 7.5 hours. So a pill can replace 7.5 hours of jogging? Not logical.
(BTW - I have previously shared that I competitively racewalk. I get about 700 calories an hour for a competitive effort, about 300 an hour in training. So, when it comes to calories burned in exercise, individual results may vary.)
(This conversation totally ignores large doses of illegal amphetamines or cocaine. Those can produce amazing results up to and including death.)
Applying your logic filter will make you less likely to fall for a con artist. It will make you more thoughtful before making a decision. Applying your logic filter will help prevent embarrassing moments. It will prevent countless disappointments.
Like any other self-discipline, applying your logic filter is a skill that improves with use. Practice. Life is really a lot easier when you don't waste time, energy and emotion on things that will never be true.
Admittedly, I used a very simple example, and many of the illogical statements you hear will be less easy to disprove. Use math, use science, use history. Don't be an easy mark for the con artists. The more of us that run things past our logic filter and don't proliferate the bad information, the less bad information will be available to deceive the next person.
Help clean up the internet. Before you hit share, run the story past a logic filter.
Saturday, July 11, 2015
The economics of kindness
A random statement this morning got me to thinking about supply and demand. When I studied economics in college (more than 30 years ago) supply and demand thinking was the prevalent economic model. Supply side economics was just beginning to be explored as an economic model.
I found myself thinking about demand fluctuations, and supply chain interruptions, and how they can affect the greater market.
Then I thought about things for which there is always more demand than supply, like tickets to a really big event.
Then being me, I thought about the intangible things for which there is always more demand than supply, and kindness was the first thing that came to mind.
It doesn't cost anything to be kind. It doesn't take more time to be kind than to be unkind. So, why does the need for kindness (demand) always seem to deplete the supply?
I have a few theories, and I'd like feedback from those reading on your opinions on this.
Theory One: We have been conditioned to be indifferent at best, and unkind at worst by the dialogue we hear when listening to the world around us. For example, in the grocery store, someone has put their cart on one side of the aisle, and is standing on the other side searching the shelves. You overhear the comment, "So selfish, she thinks the whole world is here for her and you can just wait while she blocks the aisle."
Theory Two: It is easier to withhold kindness. For example, in the grocery store, you see someone in line with a full grocery cart, and behind them is a mother with an obviously sick child. The mother has pedialyte, diapers, baby wipes, and other items that all look related to caring for a sick child. There is no express checkout open. The person looks at the mother and child, and just keeps their place in line, because it is easier to do nothing.
Theory Three: We are so engaged with our devices and in our own heads that we never notice kindness is an option. For example, in the grocery store, you are talking on your phone with someone, because grocery shopping doesn't really take your full attention, and this is a great opportunity to multitask. You don't even notice the old woman who can't reach the item she needs on the shelf, because you are more observant of your conversation than your surroundings.
What if we approached every day and every situation looking to supply kindness?
In the first example, you might instead hear the comment, "Excuse me, I hate to interrupt you, but would it be OK if I moved your cart to get past?" Kindness supplied.
In the second example, you might see the people in the checkout line one by one letting the mother with the sick child go ahead of them to get her child home. Kindness supplied.
In the third example, you would notice the woman struggling, and reach up to get her the item she needs. Kindness supplied.
I think the supply of kindness could be increased exponentially just by being more mindful that kindness is always an available choice. Even when correction is necessary, it can be done with kindness.
The demand (need) for kindness in this world will always outstrip the supply as long as we as individuals don't supply kindness in more of our interactions, and in our passive responses.
It doesn't take time or money to be kind, so there should be an endless supply.
I found myself thinking about demand fluctuations, and supply chain interruptions, and how they can affect the greater market.
Then I thought about things for which there is always more demand than supply, like tickets to a really big event.
Then being me, I thought about the intangible things for which there is always more demand than supply, and kindness was the first thing that came to mind.
It doesn't cost anything to be kind. It doesn't take more time to be kind than to be unkind. So, why does the need for kindness (demand) always seem to deplete the supply?
I have a few theories, and I'd like feedback from those reading on your opinions on this.
Theory One: We have been conditioned to be indifferent at best, and unkind at worst by the dialogue we hear when listening to the world around us. For example, in the grocery store, someone has put their cart on one side of the aisle, and is standing on the other side searching the shelves. You overhear the comment, "So selfish, she thinks the whole world is here for her and you can just wait while she blocks the aisle."
Theory Two: It is easier to withhold kindness. For example, in the grocery store, you see someone in line with a full grocery cart, and behind them is a mother with an obviously sick child. The mother has pedialyte, diapers, baby wipes, and other items that all look related to caring for a sick child. There is no express checkout open. The person looks at the mother and child, and just keeps their place in line, because it is easier to do nothing.
Theory Three: We are so engaged with our devices and in our own heads that we never notice kindness is an option. For example, in the grocery store, you are talking on your phone with someone, because grocery shopping doesn't really take your full attention, and this is a great opportunity to multitask. You don't even notice the old woman who can't reach the item she needs on the shelf, because you are more observant of your conversation than your surroundings.
What if we approached every day and every situation looking to supply kindness?
In the first example, you might instead hear the comment, "Excuse me, I hate to interrupt you, but would it be OK if I moved your cart to get past?" Kindness supplied.
In the second example, you might see the people in the checkout line one by one letting the mother with the sick child go ahead of them to get her child home. Kindness supplied.
In the third example, you would notice the woman struggling, and reach up to get her the item she needs. Kindness supplied.
I think the supply of kindness could be increased exponentially just by being more mindful that kindness is always an available choice. Even when correction is necessary, it can be done with kindness.
The demand (need) for kindness in this world will always outstrip the supply as long as we as individuals don't supply kindness in more of our interactions, and in our passive responses.
It doesn't take time or money to be kind, so there should be an endless supply.
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
The introspective extrovert
I love people. I really do. I love having a conversation with a stranger. I make friends in the grocery store. Being with people charges my batteries and makes me happy.
I am also highly introspective. I spend an enormous amount of time inside my head. I think and rethink just about everything.
This means that if I don't spend enough time with people, getting out of the inside of my head, I start to lose my ability to show the people on the outside that I really do love people.
I start to overthink every conversation starter, and then panic if the conversation opening is not met with acceptance.
This gives me a lot of empathy for my introverted friends.
But it also makes me think more about why I have this tendency to overthink and over analyze, and why the voice in my head doing the analysis is so darn mean. And it also makes me wonder how many people I interact with just need my conversation to keep going, to let them know that I think they are OK, even if they have nothing to say.
I think that for those of us that are born analytical, the need to analyze everything is impossible to overcome. What is necessary to overcome is the mean voice in our head. Analyzing everything should not mean that every analysis ends with me being less than I should be. Some analysis will statistically end with me being more than I should be. (That analytical thing can work for you).
If I think of all my interactions as points in statistical analysis, given the sample set will be huge, I can expect a Gaussian distribution of my results. So, 99.7% of my interactions with people fall within 3 standard deviations of my mean. What is my mean? Well in statistics, mean is the arithmetic average of the set of values in my distribution.
So, if I assign a value to my social interactions, with 1 being totally in my head and not social, and 5 being so social I make the recipient of my attention uncomfortable, I'll be looking for a mean of 3, with a standard deviation of .5. (I just made up the standard deviation - but it feels right). So, this means that I have now proved with data that 99.7% of the time, my social interactions are between mildly social, and friendly but not scary. Take that you mean voice in my head! I have data to shut you up with!
I am a firm believer that you can't change who you are - but you can find a way to make the mean voice in your head be quiet and let you be the wonderful self that you are.
My weapon of choice to quiet the mean voice is data - find your weapon. Quiet the mean voice. The world needs you and your wonderfulness.
I am also highly introspective. I spend an enormous amount of time inside my head. I think and rethink just about everything.
This means that if I don't spend enough time with people, getting out of the inside of my head, I start to lose my ability to show the people on the outside that I really do love people.
I start to overthink every conversation starter, and then panic if the conversation opening is not met with acceptance.
This gives me a lot of empathy for my introverted friends.
But it also makes me think more about why I have this tendency to overthink and over analyze, and why the voice in my head doing the analysis is so darn mean. And it also makes me wonder how many people I interact with just need my conversation to keep going, to let them know that I think they are OK, even if they have nothing to say.
I think that for those of us that are born analytical, the need to analyze everything is impossible to overcome. What is necessary to overcome is the mean voice in our head. Analyzing everything should not mean that every analysis ends with me being less than I should be. Some analysis will statistically end with me being more than I should be. (That analytical thing can work for you).
If I think of all my interactions as points in statistical analysis, given the sample set will be huge, I can expect a Gaussian distribution of my results. So, 99.7% of my interactions with people fall within 3 standard deviations of my mean. What is my mean? Well in statistics, mean is the arithmetic average of the set of values in my distribution.
So, if I assign a value to my social interactions, with 1 being totally in my head and not social, and 5 being so social I make the recipient of my attention uncomfortable, I'll be looking for a mean of 3, with a standard deviation of .5. (I just made up the standard deviation - but it feels right). So, this means that I have now proved with data that 99.7% of the time, my social interactions are between mildly social, and friendly but not scary. Take that you mean voice in my head! I have data to shut you up with!
I am a firm believer that you can't change who you are - but you can find a way to make the mean voice in your head be quiet and let you be the wonderful self that you are.
My weapon of choice to quiet the mean voice is data - find your weapon. Quiet the mean voice. The world needs you and your wonderfulness.
Saturday, July 4, 2015
Freedom
Today, July 4th, is the United States of America's Independence Day Holiday. Much of the conversation today will be about freedom. Freedom is a wonderful thing. Freedom from tyranny, freedom from oppression, freedom to worship who or whatever you choose, or not worship at all, freedom to love who you choose, freedom to choose how to make your living, the list goes on and on.
There are many sides to freedom however, and today, I'd like to talk about the decisions we make that limit our freedom, and why we should do so carefully.
In his iconic song, "Me and Bobby McGee", Kris Kristofferson wrote "Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose, And nothin' ain't worth nothin' but it's free".
I've thought a lot about that lyric over the course of my life. I'm glad my freedom is limited by the choices and commitments I've made. The freedom I have traded is worth something.
What exactly am I talking about?
Well. I chose to be a mother. That limited my freedom tremendously. Never again would life be all about me. Always, my child would be first. That little bit of freedom traded for all that joy and wonder. Motherhood has been the most exciting, rewarding, and fulfilling choice I have ever made.
I chose to get married, and have a committed and monogamous relationship with my husband. No more me thinking. Now us thinking. Collaborating on decisions about where to live and what to eat and how to spend money and where to go on vacation. What a great trade-off. Less freedom, more joy and companionship.
I chose to work as a Safety Professional in a highly demanding industry. So many limitations on freedom. Long workdays, last-minute necessary travel, delayed and cancelled vacations. What did that loss of freedom cost me? I had the opportunity to make the workplace safer for upwards of 50,000 employees. And I earned a great income, with great benefits, which in turn bought me a great life.
I chose to share my life with pets, specifically dogs. No picking up at the last minute for a spur of the moment trip, the dogs need to be cared for. No sleeping until I want to get up, sleeping until the dogs need to go out, or need water, or food, or love. The exchange? Unconditional love. Boundless affection. Joy beyond words.
Every choice we make, every time we exercise our freedom, that exercise comes with a responsibility. The greatest gift that freedom gives is the opportunity to choose where we exchange a bit of our freedom for a responsibility. If we choose wisely, we enrich our lives in a measure far beyond the small bit of freedom we exchange.
So, today, I'm celebrating the freedom exercised in exchange for the incredibly rich and love-filled life I enjoy. I hope and pray that all reading this can do the same.
There are many sides to freedom however, and today, I'd like to talk about the decisions we make that limit our freedom, and why we should do so carefully.
In his iconic song, "Me and Bobby McGee", Kris Kristofferson wrote "Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose, And nothin' ain't worth nothin' but it's free".
I've thought a lot about that lyric over the course of my life. I'm glad my freedom is limited by the choices and commitments I've made. The freedom I have traded is worth something.
What exactly am I talking about?
Well. I chose to be a mother. That limited my freedom tremendously. Never again would life be all about me. Always, my child would be first. That little bit of freedom traded for all that joy and wonder. Motherhood has been the most exciting, rewarding, and fulfilling choice I have ever made.
I chose to get married, and have a committed and monogamous relationship with my husband. No more me thinking. Now us thinking. Collaborating on decisions about where to live and what to eat and how to spend money and where to go on vacation. What a great trade-off. Less freedom, more joy and companionship.
I chose to work as a Safety Professional in a highly demanding industry. So many limitations on freedom. Long workdays, last-minute necessary travel, delayed and cancelled vacations. What did that loss of freedom cost me? I had the opportunity to make the workplace safer for upwards of 50,000 employees. And I earned a great income, with great benefits, which in turn bought me a great life.
I chose to share my life with pets, specifically dogs. No picking up at the last minute for a spur of the moment trip, the dogs need to be cared for. No sleeping until I want to get up, sleeping until the dogs need to go out, or need water, or food, or love. The exchange? Unconditional love. Boundless affection. Joy beyond words.
Every choice we make, every time we exercise our freedom, that exercise comes with a responsibility. The greatest gift that freedom gives is the opportunity to choose where we exchange a bit of our freedom for a responsibility. If we choose wisely, we enrich our lives in a measure far beyond the small bit of freedom we exchange.
So, today, I'm celebrating the freedom exercised in exchange for the incredibly rich and love-filled life I enjoy. I hope and pray that all reading this can do the same.
Thursday, July 2, 2015
Making the bed around the dog
Yesterday, as I was attempting to make the bed, my younger, smaller dog, Scarlett, jumped on the bed and decided we were playing the best game ever.
A part of me wanted to shoo her off the bed so that I could make it up nicely and neatly. I almost did. Then I looked at her dancing eyes and her wagging tail and joined the game.
The bed still got made. It wasn't worthy of a photo spread in Better Homes and Gardens or Southern Living, but then again, it never is.
So many times in my life, I have chosen to quash a living thing's enthusiasm for life because it got in the way of a goal I was trying to achieve. I wish I could get all of those moments back.
I realize more and more as I get older that no one, not even me, remembers how many small goals like making the bed neatly I have achieved. But I do remember the times I wiped a smile from a face, I made a wagging tail droop, simply because I forgot about feelings in my pursuit of personal accomplishment.
If you read my blog regularly you know I am big on goal setting, on plans, on vision and on accomplishment. All of that is still true. What I forget to stop and think about and actively practice sometimes is that nothing is more important than relationships, and lifting up the people and animals you share your life with.
Discipline is necessary, but so is fun. As I played with Scarlett yesterday while attempting to also make the bed, I recalled all the times someone wanted to play, and I denied them that play time because of some perceived "job" that had to be done.
I'm ashamed to admit I often attributed a motivation to the person wanting to play that most likely wasn't there. I'm embarrassed that in my life I have said things like, "Do you want me to be late for work?", "Are you trying to make me angry?", "Do you want me to be doing laundry after everyone else is in bed asleep?", and other such ridiculous statements to shut down play and stick to my oh so important schedule.
Looking back, all that was being asked of me is that I prioritize time with a living being having fun ahead of an arbitrary schedule. Life can't be all fun and games. But being slave to a schedule and sacrificing feelings to it isn't a good answer either.
If I had a do-over, I would respond with "5 minutes for a pillow fight, then we have to get ready for work and school", or "Let's make silly faces in the mirror and then get back to cleaning the house", or "If you will help me fold the clothes we can play hide and seek for a half hour", or something compromising and embracing.
Life doesn't give do-overs. So I am going to try harder to not stamp on feelings, to make time for fun. I am going to try harder to stop, breathe, and think about what decisions I will regret, and which ones I will celebrate.
Life is too short to deny the people and animals that love you your time. That is truly the only thing of value you have to give them. Give your time generously. If you are like most people, there will always be unfinished tasks on your "to-do" list. The completion of those tasks won't fill your memory bucket with happy occasions to mull over on the tough days. The time you spend enriching your love and relationships will fill that memory bucket to overflowing.
Play - laugh - enjoy. The greatest legacy most of us leave is the happy memories we have created. Work on your legacy. I promise - you won't be adding to your pile of regrets that way.
A part of me wanted to shoo her off the bed so that I could make it up nicely and neatly. I almost did. Then I looked at her dancing eyes and her wagging tail and joined the game.
The bed still got made. It wasn't worthy of a photo spread in Better Homes and Gardens or Southern Living, but then again, it never is.
So many times in my life, I have chosen to quash a living thing's enthusiasm for life because it got in the way of a goal I was trying to achieve. I wish I could get all of those moments back.
I realize more and more as I get older that no one, not even me, remembers how many small goals like making the bed neatly I have achieved. But I do remember the times I wiped a smile from a face, I made a wagging tail droop, simply because I forgot about feelings in my pursuit of personal accomplishment.
If you read my blog regularly you know I am big on goal setting, on plans, on vision and on accomplishment. All of that is still true. What I forget to stop and think about and actively practice sometimes is that nothing is more important than relationships, and lifting up the people and animals you share your life with.
Discipline is necessary, but so is fun. As I played with Scarlett yesterday while attempting to also make the bed, I recalled all the times someone wanted to play, and I denied them that play time because of some perceived "job" that had to be done.
I'm ashamed to admit I often attributed a motivation to the person wanting to play that most likely wasn't there. I'm embarrassed that in my life I have said things like, "Do you want me to be late for work?", "Are you trying to make me angry?", "Do you want me to be doing laundry after everyone else is in bed asleep?", and other such ridiculous statements to shut down play and stick to my oh so important schedule.
Looking back, all that was being asked of me is that I prioritize time with a living being having fun ahead of an arbitrary schedule. Life can't be all fun and games. But being slave to a schedule and sacrificing feelings to it isn't a good answer either.
If I had a do-over, I would respond with "5 minutes for a pillow fight, then we have to get ready for work and school", or "Let's make silly faces in the mirror and then get back to cleaning the house", or "If you will help me fold the clothes we can play hide and seek for a half hour", or something compromising and embracing.
Life doesn't give do-overs. So I am going to try harder to not stamp on feelings, to make time for fun. I am going to try harder to stop, breathe, and think about what decisions I will regret, and which ones I will celebrate.
Life is too short to deny the people and animals that love you your time. That is truly the only thing of value you have to give them. Give your time generously. If you are like most people, there will always be unfinished tasks on your "to-do" list. The completion of those tasks won't fill your memory bucket with happy occasions to mull over on the tough days. The time you spend enriching your love and relationships will fill that memory bucket to overflowing.
Play - laugh - enjoy. The greatest legacy most of us leave is the happy memories we have created. Work on your legacy. I promise - you won't be adding to your pile of regrets that way.
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
The price of intolerance
There was a country song quite a few years ago with a line, "You have to stand for something or you'll fall for anything". I can appreciate taking a stand, it is important to have a belief system, and to hold yourself accountable to it.
What I don't understand, is believing you have the only "right" belief system. I had a blog post titled "There is no Them" a few weeks ago.
Somehow, many humans have come to believe that if you don't share their belief system, you are wrong or bad. Oh my. What a sad place to live.
Where is tolerance? What happened to the idea that even if we disagree, we don't have to be disagreeable? In recent days, I have seen many people proclaim to "know" what God wants. Wow.
I believe in a Higher Power, and I try to live in accordance with what I believe that Higher Power expects of me. My belief system includes meeting that Higher Power on another plane of existence, after physical death of my body. I expect my Higher Power to let me know at that time how well I did living up to expectations.
I accept I may be wrong about what is expected of me as a human. I would never tell another person that they are wrong or evil or unloved or unlovable by a Higher Power just because their belief system differs from mine. I accept that most of us are just trying our best to get by in a difficult world.
I understand that most humans have been programmed to see things as either right or wrong. I agree, I see some right and wrong myself. Harming others is wrong. Loving others is right. That is almost where I draw my line on right and wrong. Beyond "Love one Another" most religious mandates and statements are man-made and subject to interpretation.
Love one Another is pretty clear, and it appears in some form or another in most religious doctrines. For those not embracing religion, the Golden Rule does it. One should treat others on one would like others to treat oneself.
So, how is "My God thinks you're a bad person" loving? Is that what you want others to say to you? If you step back and thing about your personal intolerance and what it costs you, is it worth the price?
My life is incredibly rich because of the diversity of the people who share it. I love that diversity, and by and large, I love people.
I disagree on certain topics with many people, and on some topic or another with just about everyone. That doesn't mean we don't have common ground. It doesn't mean that I can't learn from everyone. It doesn't mean my life isn't better because of the diversity of the people that are in it. It just means we have different perspectives and subscribe to different belief systems.
Social media has provided many benefits for connection, but the concept that you can and should "unfriend" someone who does not share your belief system is a toxin to human interaction.
Yes, if someone regularly brings harm to you or your loved ones, you should limit your exposure to them. That is not what I see with the proliferation of "unfriending". This "unfriend" action feels small-minded and mean-spirited. It feels like the person choosing to "unfriend" has decided that someone doesn't measure up to their standard of moral perfection, and should be removed.
And the sad thing is that maybe the unfrienders are better than those who proclaim friendship to continue to beseech you to embrace a belief system that you do not share and that does not embrace who you are.
My Higher Power loves each of His creations just the way He made them. I'm not so naive that I pretend that there is no evil in the world. But I do believe the number of people who truly want to cause harm is small. Most harm is caused by carelessness, not malice.
We can all share this planet in harmony, but many choose discord. The price of intolerance is the wonderful gift of all the individuals in the world who don't share your belief system being lost to you. How very sad.
What I don't understand, is believing you have the only "right" belief system. I had a blog post titled "There is no Them" a few weeks ago.
Somehow, many humans have come to believe that if you don't share their belief system, you are wrong or bad. Oh my. What a sad place to live.
Where is tolerance? What happened to the idea that even if we disagree, we don't have to be disagreeable? In recent days, I have seen many people proclaim to "know" what God wants. Wow.
I believe in a Higher Power, and I try to live in accordance with what I believe that Higher Power expects of me. My belief system includes meeting that Higher Power on another plane of existence, after physical death of my body. I expect my Higher Power to let me know at that time how well I did living up to expectations.
I accept I may be wrong about what is expected of me as a human. I would never tell another person that they are wrong or evil or unloved or unlovable by a Higher Power just because their belief system differs from mine. I accept that most of us are just trying our best to get by in a difficult world.
I understand that most humans have been programmed to see things as either right or wrong. I agree, I see some right and wrong myself. Harming others is wrong. Loving others is right. That is almost where I draw my line on right and wrong. Beyond "Love one Another" most religious mandates and statements are man-made and subject to interpretation.
Love one Another is pretty clear, and it appears in some form or another in most religious doctrines. For those not embracing religion, the Golden Rule does it. One should treat others on one would like others to treat oneself.
So, how is "My God thinks you're a bad person" loving? Is that what you want others to say to you? If you step back and thing about your personal intolerance and what it costs you, is it worth the price?
My life is incredibly rich because of the diversity of the people who share it. I love that diversity, and by and large, I love people.
I disagree on certain topics with many people, and on some topic or another with just about everyone. That doesn't mean we don't have common ground. It doesn't mean that I can't learn from everyone. It doesn't mean my life isn't better because of the diversity of the people that are in it. It just means we have different perspectives and subscribe to different belief systems.
Social media has provided many benefits for connection, but the concept that you can and should "unfriend" someone who does not share your belief system is a toxin to human interaction.
Yes, if someone regularly brings harm to you or your loved ones, you should limit your exposure to them. That is not what I see with the proliferation of "unfriending". This "unfriend" action feels small-minded and mean-spirited. It feels like the person choosing to "unfriend" has decided that someone doesn't measure up to their standard of moral perfection, and should be removed.
And the sad thing is that maybe the unfrienders are better than those who proclaim friendship to continue to beseech you to embrace a belief system that you do not share and that does not embrace who you are.
My Higher Power loves each of His creations just the way He made them. I'm not so naive that I pretend that there is no evil in the world. But I do believe the number of people who truly want to cause harm is small. Most harm is caused by carelessness, not malice.
We can all share this planet in harmony, but many choose discord. The price of intolerance is the wonderful gift of all the individuals in the world who don't share your belief system being lost to you. How very sad.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)